Speaking of Behavior: And What About the Family?
I’ve often heard about family pressure from both sides regarding couples trying to get pregnant. Sometimes, the pressure to have a baby can become unbearable after so many years of marriage or being together and still no firstborn. That’s where the problem lies! Should you share the fact that you’re trying with the whole family or not?
This really depends on each person, their personality, and their family, but the truth is that having close relatives know about your attempts can make everything even worse. If there’s already pressure, things tend to get even harder when everyone in the family knows that you and your husband, partner, or boyfriend want a baby. The heaviest burden often falls on the only married couple in family circles where new babies haven’t come along in years.
It’s natural for parents to want to see their descendants and their name carried forward by new generations. That’s even instinctive. But that’s no reason to bombard the couple with questions and pressure. Even if you become somewhat immune to the comments and demands, sooner or later there will be a day when something hurts, and that just makes anxiety grow. Every couple should decide, after weighing the pros and cons, whether or not to share the decision and the attempts to have a baby with everyone.
On the other hand, some couples already have children and want one or two more. In these cases, the pressure is often the opposite. Here come the comments: Why more kids? Trying to populate the world all by yourself?
I’ve also heard things so many times like: Have you had surgery? Has your husband had surgery? Enough! One couple is more than enough. But honestly, those comments were never relevant and didn’t stop me from having my three kids. Right after my second was born, the pressure for sterilization started from either partner. That’s why I never told close family members about my wish for a bigger family. But of course, that’s a personal decision.
Both situations are very hard to deal with because on one side, there may be a couple struggling to conceive, and on the other, a couple being pressured not to have more children. My advice, dear hopeful mom-to-be: keep your attempts private as long as you can! This might make things less stressful, and the wait less anxiety-provoking and more pleasant. Knowing how to cope with this situation is a real trial, even for the most psychologically prepared. What remains is to join the F-key crowd and simply let the world mind its own business. It worked for me!
When It Finally Happens
What to do when you finally get a positive result? You feel like shouting your joy to the world! It almost seems like a dream after all that waiting. But the truth is that when that positive arrives, it makes you feel dizzy with the news. My feeling is that we walk on eggshells when faced with the conception of a baby, because the news is so overwhelming!
The very first thing you should do is track, with at least one beta test, how your HCG levels are progressing in your blood to be sure everything is going well. Next, schedule your first prenatal appointment, whether with your private doctor or at the nearest public health clinic. But really, that’s the first step to take.
At the appointment, the doctor will order some blood tests such as HIV, syphilis, blood typing (your blood type), antibody tests for hepatitis A and C, and tests for toxoplasmosis and rubella. All of this ensures the safety of the mother and the little baby growing inside her. If any issue shows up in the tests, don’t worry! The doctor will recommend the best treatment for your case. But if you’re still trying to conceive, you might want to get these tests done in advance to avoid a last-minute rush. Besides the tests, this is the time to start taking folic acid, unless you’ve already started. It’s very important because it prevents neurological and spinal malformations in the baby.
Pregnancy is usually counted from the date of your last period. If you don’t know when that was, only an ultrasound can determine how far along you are. But don’t be alarmed if nothing shows up on your first ultrasound. Chances are you’re under 5 weeks and it’s very common to not see any sign of pregnancy at this stage. For those who are more anxious, here’s a tip: wait until at least the sixth week for an ultrasound, unless your doctor recommends it sooner because of a suspected issue, like bleeding.
Are you pregnant and already seeing a doctor? How about planning a big surprise to tell dad and the whole family the news? I often found myself daydreaming about how I’d break the news to my parents. I think this makes a wonderful memory for the baby book and the whole family will appreciate the love from the new parents.
