Sex is a part of life and is natural for humans, but sexual intercourse can bring some discomfort for many women, whether due to a temporary issue or even something more permanent.
Pain and discomfort during sexual intercourse can be related to several physical but also psychological factors. Did you know that being tense during sex can make penetration more difficult? The pain I’m referring to is exactly this, the pain that causes discomfort during vaginal penetration.
Is Pain During Sexual Intercourse Normal?
It is not normal to feel pain during sexual intercourse; if there’s pain, it is likely that something is going on. During the first few times it is common for pain to occur since intercourse is a new situation for the woman. With all this novelty, vaginal lubrication can be compromised and the psychological aspect also plays a role.
Now, when a woman is sexually active and suddenly starts feeling pain during sex, an investigation should be done. Pain or discomfort during intercourse can happen for several reasons1. Some women report that it is normal to feel lower abdominal pain after sex, and we clarify that this is not normal.
Causes of Discomfort During Sex
Infection: this may be due to sexually transmitted diseases2 such as chlamydia and syphilis, or even an episode of candidiasis, which is very common when a woman’s immunity is low. Small wounds on the cervix can also cause bleeding after sex, and to solve the issue, doctors often use cauterization as the solution.
Frequency: if a woman has sex frequently, the vagina may develop abrasions that cause pain. So, from excessive use of the sexual organ, it can become swollen and sore, leading to discomfort.
Stress: stress can seriously interfere with a woman’s sex life! There are those who say that nerves from work definitely affect their relationship. Besides pain, the lack of desire for sex can be greater than we imagine.
Hormonal: if the sex hormones are out of balance, pain during sex may occur. Lack of desire can make sex painful due to poor lubrication.
Hormone stimulation is essential for a healthy libido, and the hormone responsible for that is testosterone, present in a man’s body, of course, but also in a woman’s body. Low libido can be the result of an excess of progesterone combined with low testosterone, for example, which causes vaginal dryness and considerable discomfort during intercourse. In these cases, using a lubricating gel can solve the problem. If the couple is trying to get pregnant, we recommend a lubricant gel that balances vaginal pH and has a consistency similar to the woman’s natural mucus.
Therefore, lack of sexual desire in new mothers is very common, since hormones are in complete transition. So, a pregnant woman who had a very high libido may become a new mom with much less sexual appetite.
Endometriosis: endometriosis itself already causes pain3! It is a disease caused by menstrual blood escaping from the uterus, and it can cause severe pain on a daily basis, especially during sexual intercourse. In fact, women with this type of discomfort during sex become unable to feel pleasure. Reaching orgasm can become a more than difficult task, because to experience the highest level of pleasure that sex can provide, being relaxed and open is essential.
Treatments for Discomfort During Sexual Intercourse
The first step to take is for the woman to realize that discomfort and pain during sex are not normal. For pleasurable sex, the woman must be fully at ease and healthy.
If pain is present, the cause should be investigated by a doctor first. He or she will certainly order tests that help identify if there is any physical problem as mentioned above.
If infections are present, appropriate medications will be prescribed to solve the issue. Another common question is whether uterine pain during sex could be pregnancy, and the answer is no! Pain is not a symptom of pregnancy.
Tests Recommended to Identify the Cause
- Ultrasound and MRI
- Blood tests (hormonal and to detect possible infectious diseases)
- Urine test
With these tests in hand, ruling out a pathological disease is 100% certain. The treatment will be prescribed, whether medicinal or surgical, and it will make the pain during sex disappear completely, or at least for the most part, once resolved. Disregarding physical causes, then psychological factors can be addressed. The pressure during sex and even the number of sexual relations a woman has per day are issues the doctor will consider. If there is something to be treated psychologically, he or she will refer you to a specialist on the subject.
And If No Cause Is Found?
Exploring your body is an important way to increase pleasure during sex. If nothing was found but the pain persists, it’s worth trying to boost desire during intercourse. Some women who have never reached orgasm relate this lack of pleasure to “tensing up” in bed.
Good foreplay is fundamental for complete sexual stimulation in women, and it’s worth teaching your partner what works for you. To do so, he needs to know what will make you feel more desire for sex.
What Can I Do to Help?
Creams, stimulants, and lubricating gels are very worthwhile when there is a lack of natural lubrication. Involving objects and anything that can make your sex life spicier is a good trick for your relationship. Have an open conversation and share what you both would like to try. Arousing even more desire may be the solution for women who have never really reached the finale during sex.
IMPORTANT: There are many cases of women who cannot feel pleasure or reach orgasm due to psychological blocks and need professional support, such as psychologists, to resolve the problem.
A Reader’s Story
Jussara is 39 years old and has been married for 15 years; since the beginning of her marriage, she had never felt pleasure due to the pain she experienced during sex. After the birth of her second child and still never having had a pain-free sexual experience, she finally decided to seek help.
After running some tests, the doctor discovered an infection she had had for some time, as well as signs of endometriosis. Neither of these problems prevented her from becoming pregnant but they kept her from ever knowing what pleasure felt like. Only after treating her severe vaginal infection with medication did she have her first pain-free and pleasurable sexual experience she had always dreamed of. See her testimony:
“I used to talk a lot with several friends, and all of them said sex was wonderful. I just couldn’t see sex as good because it wasn’t for me! After so much insistence and pain, I finally sought out a doctor who found an inflammation caused by a bacterium, simple as that. The treatment lasted two months and my husband had to do it as well. After we were cleared for sex, I finally discovered what my friends had always talked about—pleasure. I finally found out that sex is good and that I wasted too much time trying to ignore the real issue.”
Feeling pain during sex is not normal. The cause of the discomfort should always be investigated by a trusted doctor. Sex is life—live it intensely and with lots of pleasure. Important Tip: Most couples are not used to using lubricants, and the pain during intercourse may be exactly due to a lack of adequate mucus. That’s why using a water-based lubricant can change everything!
