Childbirth is an extreme situation for the female body. It doesn’t matter if it’s vaginal or cesarean: the period after requires special care. In the 40 days after the baby is born, a period called quarantine, the uterus needs to recover. This phase is also commonly known as the waiting period1.
The main question for most couples is about when they can resume sexual activity2. Usually, the woman’s libido drops and the partner’s increases, especially those who were unable to have sex due to health risks during pregnancy. On the other hand, there’s fear of interfering with the body’s recovery. In a way, sex during the waiting period is considered a taboo.
Usually, it is the husbands or partners, no matter how understanding they may be, who pressure for sex after childbirth, even knowing the risks and with the woman still experiencing postpartum bleeding. But there are also women whose desire is stronger and who need to decide what to do, after all, they know their own bodies’ limits best.
Sex After Episiotomy
In this case, it’s important to warn that postpartum care may be different during sex, even after the waiting period. If you had a vaginal delivery with an episiotomy (perineal cut), you may feel more pain in this area, and penetration before the wound has healed can cause damage and delay recovery.
Sex After Cesarean Section
Sexual intercourse after a cesarean section is the most delicate. Remember that the stitches are still new and a cesarean is surgery like any other. There are cases where recovery is slower and it’s not worth risking inflammation or even a uterine infection3. Even if you want to, the relationship can wait a little longer.
But let’s face it, sometimes the couple’s libido speaks louder! If your pregnancy was high risk and for this reason, the couple had to abstain for a long time, it can be difficult to resist. If there is desire between the couple, there are alternative ways to have penetration during pregnancy, but caution is essential!
How Long Should the Waiting Period Last?
Doctors recommend a waiting period with postpartum care for about 40 days, the famous quarantine. In the past, women would stay isolated for 40 days without leaving home, not washing their hair, not walking barefoot, and many other myths. Today we know none of this is necessary, but it’s worth researching further. I found that there are countless cases of women who “break” the waiting period and then start worrying. We have to understand that the postpartum period is a time to care for the body. During pregnancy, the body undergoes radical changes and needs time to return to its previous state. Mainly the uterus, as it increases far beyond its original size and this requires a minimum recovery time of about 40 days. And we know that if the woman breastfeeds, she will stop ovulating for an uncertain period of time. Even without menstruating, it is indeed possible to become pregnant. Remember, ovulation happens before menstruation.
But let’s focus on the first postpartum sexual encounter. It tends to be more painful, do you know why? In many cases, because vaginal moisture is lower (maybe due to increased oxytocin and prolactin, or decreased estrogen), which leaves the intimate area drier than usual. I’ve seen cases of 9, 12, 15 days into the waiting period where the woman had her first sexual intercourse and nothing happened, and other cases where even after 60 days of postpartum care the pain was the same. This sensation has been compared to the first sexual experience. It’s nothing abnormal, but it is a different sensation, only by going through it can you know what it’s like. At this stage, it’s recommended to use a good intimate lubricant, one that brings comfort to this much-anticipated moment for the couple. FamiGel is an intimate gel with a consistency identical to a woman’s natural cervical mucus, making it a great alternative.
A Mother’s Experience
Right after I had Melissa, I sat in the office and talked to the obstetrician about the subject. His answer was the simplest possible: go slow! The best thing is to wait, but if you had a smooth childbirth and your recovery is on track, why not try? Of course, I’m not encouraging anyone to break the waiting period, but if it’s inevitable, don’t rush into it. Making things easier before the act itself is a great solution for couples who have been abstinent for some time. The best thing is always to take it slow. Prefer foreplay during the waiting period to relieve tension at the moment of truth.
Precautions To Take
Questions? Talk to your doctor! As soon as the waiting period is over, it’s a good idea to immediately start taking contraceptives appropriate for the woman’s breastfeeding stage, as they help prevent pregnancy during this period.
We know nobody is made of steel, but if you can maintain this postpartum care, recovery can be faster and without complications. Waiting may provide a more pleasurable postpartum sexual experience for the woman, without trauma or fear in the future. And men, take it easy at this time! Intercourse can be very painful! Be calm and patient with your partner. Wishing you a great return to sexual life, with all the necessary care!
Let’s not forget about other postpartum care, after all, life isn’t just about sex, right? Care for the breasts, which will be busy with breastfeeding—be sure to avoid cracked nipples and keep them always hydrated. You can use your own breast milk to clean and moisturize them, or use specific ointments prescribed by your doctor. Care against mastitis (breast infection) is also essential, as it causes a lot of pain and discomfort for the woman, besides high fever.
Scar Care
Care for the scar whether from a cesarean or from an episiotomy (if necessary during vaginal delivery) also requires a lot of attention. The scar should be properly cleaned with water and neutral soap and the area kept always dry. Following medical advice such as avoiding physical exercise, strenuous activity, or lifting heavy weights will help the healing process go faster.
Talk to your obstetrician about painkillers you can use during the recovery process. Also let them know about symptoms such as swelling, redness or even discharge and increased temperature in the area. If you notice anything unusual, see your obstetrician immediately!
How Long After Tubal Ligation Can I Have Sex?
Tubal ligation is a permanent female sterilization surgery, in which the tubes are cut or tied to block sperm passage. Since it’s a surgery, the inevitable question is: “How long after tubal ligation can I have sex?” Actually, there isn’t a fixed deadline as it will depend on the procedure and technique used, which can vary from a week to three months of care. The best advice is to follow your doctor’s recommendations and respect your body’s limits.
Readers’ Questions:
Is pain during intercourse after a c-section normal?
Sexual intercourse after childbirth, whether vaginal or cesarean, should only happen when the woman feels ready, safe, and above all, wanting it to happen. Intercourse itself after childbirth does not cause pain. But out of fear of hurting or tearing stitches, things might not flow as they should and this may cause some mild discomfort. So take it slow, avoid positions that require more physical effort.
Bleeding during intercourse after the waiting period, what happened?
The bleeding from the famous quarantine has stopped and the couple decides to resume sexual life, but during or right after sex, there is bleeding again. What could have happened? Bleeding can actually happen since the uterus is not fully healed. So when resuming sexual intercourse, it’s best to go slowly, avoid too much physical effort, and not rush, respecting the body’s limits.
