I can say: there’s nothing more wonderful than being a mother! But even though I dreamed of motherhood, I didn’t know there would be so many obstacles—and why not say, problems—related to this condition. In addition to being magical, being a mom has some dramatic moments. Not that they’re the end of the world, enough to put you or any other woman off wanting to have a baby, but these mom things can drive any woman up the wall! There are at least 100 things that change in a new mother’s life or along the way that aren’t listed out for those planning to embark on this journey. So, I’m going to talk about the inconveniences for a woman who becomes a mother and also what changes in this new and emotion-filled life.

Pre-Motherhood

Actually, it’s 11—because you might get addicted to so much love!

1- For me, the pressure to get pregnant was one of the first problems that popped up on this journey to motherhood. Worse, the pressure came from myself! I never imagined that wanting to be a mom so badly could bring issues like uncontrollable anxiety and even a touch of depression because I wanted something so much that was out of my reach. The distress of desperately wanting to get pregnant and not being able to, no matter what you do, can be agonizing and stir up strong emotions even before you’re pregnant. Being a mom is about nurturing even before the positive test comes! We already love that baby so much before we even know they’re on the way.

Pregnancy

2- After that much-desired positive, I thought my worries would be over! But you know how mom stuff goes… When I got pregnant for the first time, no one ever told me that I would feel pains during pregnancy. And it’s not agonizing pain, but it’s definitely uncomfortable. Pains in the lower belly, cramps, low blood pressure, nausea, vomiting, sore breasts and even weight loss—it all worried and bothered me! A real challenge for a first-time mom.

3- During pregnancy I also realized that not everything’s a bed of roses, because nights kept getting harder and harder. Rest? What’s that? I practically slept sitting up! As the pregnancy advanced, there was no good position to sleep in. On my right side the baby would kick, on my left didn’t feel good, lying on my back I’d get short of breath… What a thing—I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t! And many people would tell me, “Sleep now, daughter! You’ll miss it when the baby’s born,” but I just couldn’t do it!

4- Gas, vomiting, sleepiness and dizziness… Everyone talks about this part, but it’s always good to reinforce that these are mom things that bother the most at this stage… The first 16 weeks can be the worst of your life. Imagine feeling sick every single day, no breaks.

5-  The urge to eat is much greater than your actual ability, or what your body can handle. Around the 20th week, when your appetite comes back with a vengeance, you can’t even sit down to a plate of rice and beans with sides without feeling stuffed. Controlling weight gain is another worry and can turn into a nightmare for some women, as not everyone can gain only 1 kilo per month during pregnancy. The worry starts when you pass the 12-kilo limit, and that’s when your OB/GYN might really come down on you!

Postpartum

6– No one ever told me you feel like crap after giving birth. Even though you’re fulfilled and happy, a brand new mom in her first days postpartum goes through some “exhaustion” and even “despair.” Adjusting to a new routine, to a new life is a pretty exhausting task—delicate and complicated, too. And then there’s all the unsolicited advice about what to do, what not to do, what to give or not give the baby. A first-time mom suffers a lot.

7- Sore and “burning” breasts. Think breastfeeding is easy? Before we go through it, we believe it’s just about putting the baby to the breast and letting them do the rest, right? Nope… There’s actually a special way for the baby to latch, the right latch technique, the right position for breastfeeding, issues of breasts being too full, not full enough, just colostrum, endless crying from the newborn and the panic of a mom who desperately wants to breastfeed but for some reason just can’t. Funny how you feel hot, almost as if you’re sweating more than usual. The feeling I had was even after I’d showered, I still felt dirty, like I’d spent all day in the hot sun.

The most common is nipple latching, often done incorrectly and without 24-hour support like at the hospital. Breastfeeding burns, hurts, itches and sometimes even bleeds! So I’m telling you loud and clear, PREPARE YOUR BREASTS for breastfeeding! That means: Get some early morning sun on your breasts while you’re still pregnant, rub them with a soft sponge in the shower, and forget about ointments.

8- Besides that, we can also say that the world around you might not make things any easier with endless visits from family and friends from the very first day baby is home. It’s not that visits are bad—far from it—but mom stuff like those first days at home are so rarely valued.

9- Crying is the word for the postpartum period, people! Your emotions are running high and everything feels so sad. Even in such a happy time, we tend to cry and cry, feel incapable of taking care of the baby and just sad. But it’s all caused by hormones. It’s important to say this feeling should only last a short time—if it goes on more than 30 days, it’s best to see a doctor because you could be suffering from postpartum depression. Baby blues, nice to meet you, my name is Mom!

10- Birth is an amazing moment! I never expected that these mom things could be so intense. I had an idea from what other moms around me said and even from my own mom, who used to tell me: “You’ll only know what it’s like when you have your own children.” Beside giving birth, the enormous responsibility that comes with kids—caring for, protecting, meeting all their needs and EDUCATING them as best as possible—becomes the number one priority in life!

Goodbye long outings with no set time to come back, goodbye romantic nights without worrying if someone’s going to knock on your door in the middle of the night. Goodbye peaceful nights—what mom has never gotten up more than twice in the night to check if her child is okay, even when they’re over 10 years old? Goodbye long showers and all-over lotion and perfume sessions. If you’re lucky, you’ll get five minutes in the shower—worried the whole time that the baby will wake up. Say so long to high heels, too, because you’ll have to ditch them while still pregnant.

11- This eleventh one is a bonus. Get ready for powerful emotions! Being a mom will give you feelings you’ve never had—never will have in any other area of your life! Motherhood is addictive; these mom things bring euphoria, and here’s a big warning: your child’s scent will get you hooked in a way that there’s no going back! Motherhood is so good there’s nothing to compare it to, but honestly—it does make you a little nervous!

If after reading all this you still want to be a mom, then girl, go for it! All the cons are outweighed by the pros that this life brings! Do you agree or disagree with something? Leave a comment and join the conversation!

Also see: Being a First-Time Mother – Problems We Might Find Along the Way

Photo: (davide), ankledeep / JJ