Desperation! That’s the word that takes over a woman who really wants to get pregnant, who wants to have a baby, and, despite so many attempts, can’t. What goes through the mind of a couple who does everything but still hasn’t made their biggest dream, having a baby, come true?

I want to get pregnant and can’t! I hear (read) this phrase every day as a plea from many anxious and distressed women. But what could be stopping this dream from happening?

Even though she’s having intercourse and doing everything she can, pregnancy is a goal that escapes this woman’s control. However, a few small details at the time of sex can help a lot with conception.

If you’ve never heard of the “raise your hips” trick, you’re missing out on a precious ally! Lifting your hips after sex gives sperm a boost by taking advantage of gravity.

Keep pillows within reach in the bedroom and have your husband help you immediately after ejaculation so you don’t have to get up and lose this advantage. It’s also very important for a woman who wants to get pregnant and can’t to be aware of her own body.

Knowing how to identify the fertile period is essential! If your cycles are regular, you’re at an advantage! Usually, the most fertile day is 14 days before your next period, but remember that the fertile window is 7 days, okay?

So try to have intercourse 3 days before and 3 days after your ovulation peak. But my cycles are irregular, can I calculate my ovulation? Yes! Irregular cycles aren’t a big cause for concern. You might think: I want to get pregnant and can’t because my cycles are irregular, but irregular cycles don’t always cause problems.

It’s up to the woman to get to know her body and notice when her fertile days happen. Fertile mucus is very characteristic, and even if you don’t have a lot of it, you may notice increased vaginal moisture, a higher libido, and some signs like abdominal pain and even light bleeding.

Here’s a tip for women who don’t produce much mucus: use fertility-friendly lubricating gels like FamiGel. They act like cervical mucus, improve lubrication, and even increase sperm motility.

I Want to Get Pregnant and Can’t: Things to Consider

Okay, you’ve put things into practice and still haven’t had the result you hoped for? Let’s look at everything as a whole. The normal time frame to get pregnant naturally—without assuming potential reproductive health issues—is 1 year or 12 cycles. If you don’t become pregnant in this window, you should consider a few things:

1st – Time off birth control: Some women have stopped birth control only very recently! That means the time frame might stretch a bit. Some medications, like contraceptive injections, for example, can take longer to leave your system.

Usually, it takes 3 to 6 months for your body to be totally rid of medication, whether oral or injectable. But you should know that a good sign your body is detoxing from contraception is regular cycles.

If they become regular, your fertility may be back in full swing. If your year includes time still on birth control, you might not have had the true opportunity to get pregnant yet. Some say that the longer a woman uses birth control, the worse it is, but that’s not true. It all depends exclusively on how your body releases the medication.

2nd – Menstrual flow and cycle: Are you the regular type? Do you have a period every month or do you have wild cycles? That would lead to a quicker result for pregnancy! However, as mentioned earlier, it’s not impossible for a woman with irregular cycles to get pregnant; it’s just a bit harder.

Now, the amount and appearance say a lot about your hormones! Women with very light periods may be experiencing low estrogen, which is essential for ovulation.

That’s why having a lot lighter cycles in a row should be a warning sign. Women whose menstrual cycles are reduced without reason (like contraceptive medications) should see their doctor for a hormonal checkup. On the other hand, a heavy flow can also be a sign something is wrong.

Like my wise mother says, neither extreme is good. So if your flow has gotten too heavy, that could also be a sign of a problem. It’s up to you to talk to your doctor to check what’s going on.

3rd – Partner: If your husband already has kids, that’s not a reason for him to be all proud and blame you alone. This could make you think: I want to get pregnant and can’t, it’s all my fault… But no!

Men, even if they already have children, can have something preventing pregnancy. They can develop a testicular infection or even develop varicocele sometime after fathering a child. That’s why it’s important for him to do his part and get checked. Semen analysis for him!

If after all of this you still haven’t gotten pregnant, it’s time to start a thorough investigation. A competent doctor should ask for tests in addition to the basic ones (hormones and ultrasound), like hysterosalpingography for example.

Which tests are ordered depends on the patient’s complaints. If nothing is found in the couple, then unexplained infertility will be diagnosed. But only after 2 years of unsuccessful attempts.

After that, the couple might get pregnant at any time, but they can also choose more invasive approaches such as timed intercourse treatments, or even in vitro fertilization. But all of this is decided together with the doctor. Another reminder: if you’ve been trying for a ‘long’ 3 or 4 months, don’t panic! Remember the 12-cycle timeframe, okay?

A good tip is to look for a doctor who understands you, who doesn’t judge you, and helps lower your anxiety. Speaking of which, not thinking 100% of the time about getting pregnant helps take the focus off and can make the waiting time go by faster.

Finally, chart your basal body temperature, do yoga, work, and direct your life toward other things, and try lubricating gels that are friendly for those trying to conceive like FamiGel too, it can help.

This will also help take the pressure off the wait. Pregnancy comes at the right time. As rushed as we may be, sometimes it’s a lesson in practicing patience and, why not, faith? Have faith, dear friend. If you put too much pressure on yourself, you won’t have time to enjoy all the good things this experience will bring you. Four magical ingredients for those trying:

Faith, Focus, Patience, and Keep Your Spirits Up!

Also see: Trying to Conceive and Their Partners – How to Handle the Intense Training?

Photo: Leah Makin Photography