This is a very delicate topic that requires great care in its approach due to the complex emotions involved in this situation. If you have been through this or know someone close who has suffered a miscarriage, you know exactly what we are talking about. A miscarriage has various causes and can be related to the woman’s age, genetic factors, or even infections. Usually, miscarriage occurs due to abnormal fetal development, and for this reason, the body itself takes care of eliminating it. Therefore, it is important to see a doctor to assess if there are any risk factors for miscarriage, and in case of any signs of miscarriage, you should seek medical help immediately. This is a very difficult situation for everyone who goes through it. The dream of becoming a mother is interrupted and, due to the complications surrounding this situation, in many cases psychological support is needed to provide greater support for the woman experiencing this.
A different kind of grief
Some people may think that, because the pregnancy was brief, there is no reason for the couple to feel sad about the loss. They do not realize that, even when the pregnancy does not go to term, people idealize and create expectations for the child from the moment they receive a positive result. Miscarriage brings about a type of grief that is different from the grief we feel for someone we already know. It is grief for a future, that is, grief for the expectations placed on that pregnancy. Not just the physical pain of miscarriage itself, but also the procedures that need to be done, are factors that make the situation even more difficult. Remember that there is no “right way” to handle this situation. People react differently, and even a miscarriage that happens early in pregnancy can be enough to have a deep impact, depending on the attachment and bond that has already been formed with the future baby. Likewise, there is no set period for how long it should take to process this grief over the lost pregnancy. It may be that, even when a woman is starting to feel better, there are some moments that are harder to cope with, such as when the first period after the miscarriage happens or when you find out someone else is pregnant. It is important to consider the partner’s feelings as well. Each person may feel the loss differently, but that doesn’t mean one feels it more than the other. One day the woman might be feeling a bit better while her partner is not, and vice versa. Or it may even be that the man feels the situation is even heavier, since most of the attention is usually directed to the woman, and his feelings may often be overlooked. 
Other related symptoms
A miscarriage can trigger mental health problems due to all the emotional turmoil involved in this situation, and has therefore been linked with psychiatric conditions such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress. This does not mean that everyone who goes through a miscarriage will develop one of these conditions, but the chances of having related symptoms are higher. In addition, other symptoms like those listed below may be present:
- Panic attacks: feeling disconnected and out of control, with a rapid heartbeat, sweating, and difficulty breathing.
- Insomnia or trouble sleeping: you can’t “disconnect” and remain worried, thinking about the situation all the time.
- Constant fatigue: even if you managed to sleep well, you often feel tired.
How to seek help?
It can be hard to seek help after experiencing a miscarriage. Many times we think we will be able to cope with everything on our own, but that’s not always possible. Having someone to talk to about the situation is very important to ease all the pain a miscarriage can bring. It is important to know whom to ask for help or who to confide in because sometimes, the people around you may try to help but end up minimizing the situation. Even though these comments may be made with the best intentions, they can hurt. Phrases like “At least you’re still young,” “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be,” or “There’s still time to try again” are painful to hear and deeply affect those going through this. Psychotherapy can be a solution for those seeking support and help to get through this experience. Many women choose other possibilities, like writing and sharing their stories through blogs as a way to ease the pain and share their experiences. It is also possible to find support groups, whether online or not, as well as discussion forums on the subject. They allow people to express themselves and share experiences, easing the sense of loneliness when going through this. Finding the right way to get through this is not an easy task, but as you can see, each person can find their unique way of coping with the situation! The important thing is not to go through it alone. So, be kind to yourself and seek the help you need so the burden is not so heavy.
