So one fine day, the desire to have a baby to call your own appears, you stop taking birth control or whatever contraceptive method you’re using and that’s it, we think the positive result will appear the following month. But it’s not always (almost never) that simple… You might think: I really want to get pregnant and it’s not happening. Why?

Sometimes we don’t realize that there are several factors that can help or hinder pregnancy from happening. Wanting a baby so much can take away the practical perspective that some things might delay pregnancy. We, as hopeful moms-to-be, tend to romanticize the situation, but reality is not always what we expect. Unfortunately, we have a habit of not facing things objectively. That’s why I always say this is a way of self-sabotaging.

I want to get pregnant, so what should I know? First of all, we should keep in mind that the time frame to conceive is about 1 year. It feels like an eternity, I know. But it’s the minimum time your body has to get pregnant naturally without major interventions or signs that something is wrong. Naturally, this timeframe applies when you disregard any medications that were taken before you started trying. So, if you used injectable contraceptives and have been trying for a year, technically your reproductive system hasn’t been functioning at 100% for that whole year. That’s because birth control can take at least 3 months to leave your system.

So we can say: Women who take birth control may take more than a year to conceive. If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for 7 months “without success,” you should wait a bit more. However, if this wait reaches 18 months, it’s better to check with a doctor to see what’s going on, because sometimes something is wrong, such as polycystic ovaries, anovulation, endometriosis, hormonal imbalance, or even fertility issues with your partner. That’s why if you’ve tried for a while, don’t get tested by yourself. Your partner should also check his fertility.

It’s essential for a couple wanting to get pregnant to know that the fertile days are directly related to how quickly pregnancy can happen. If you’re the forgetful type, you might not even know there’s a certain period in the month when you’re fertile. Unlike men, who are fertile the whole month, women only have a few days in their cycle to get pregnant, which is the fertile window. During the fertile window, the egg grows, matures, and is released from the follicle.

This cycle can take between 7 and 15 days. For some women it’s longer, for others it’s shorter, but the exact period when a woman is ovulating is when she observes elastic mucus, similar to egg white, or slippery, stretchy mucus like soap. This is the time when a woman should have intercourse to finally get pregnant. The egg stays available in the fallopian tube for only 24 hours after being released from the follicle and only lives a few hours, which is why some women have trouble conceiving. Getting the timing of the egg just right can be a real lifestyle for those trying to conceive!

A good piece of advice from one hopeful mom-to-be to another is to look for cervical mucus. If you never see mucus at any point in your cycle, not even during several cycles, it’s time to investigate what’s happening. Sometimes the absence of mucus can mean problems, so the best alternative is to analyze your hormones with your doctor. If nothing is wrong, then I recommend using fertility-friendly gel. This can truly help boost fertility and make pregnancy happen.

I Really Want to Get Pregnant, How Do I Calculate My Fertile Window?

Not all women have the same cycles; some have regular periods, but others may have very long cycles. That’s why calculating the fertile window is often difficult. Usually, it’s said that a woman’s most fertile day is 14 days before her next period. Theoretically, it’s the 14th day of the cycle if you have a 28-day cycle. But if your cycle is shorter or longer, your most fertile day will always change. If you have regular cycles, you can use the fertility calculator. It will help you a lot, and even give you an estimate of the baby’s sex most likely to happen at that moment of conception.

If your cycles are irregular, you’ll have to check your fertile period differently. You should monitor your mucus and also your symptoms. Ovulation brings various signals, such as pain on one side of the lower abdomen, twinges, breast tenderness, and of course, mucus. Paying attention is the key to identifying ovulation in irregular cycles. Ovulation tests can also be very helpful—when you suspect your fertile window has started, begin using LH test strips to detect the surge, and have intercourse on the days closest to ovulation.

It’s also recommended for the couple to have intercourse every other day throughout the fertile period. This practice helps replenish the sperm supply efficiently and therefore makes conception easier. Also, stay lying down for a while after sex, this helps gravity work in your favor so that sperm swim more easily toward the fallopian tube.

Remember, not all women get pregnant as quickly as others, so you need patience and to manage anxiety so as not to suffer in advance. Good luck!

See also: Best Positions to Get Pregnant – Combine Pleasure with Conception

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