A problem that haunts couples’ lives and often causes great discomfort in marriage, lack of sexual desire happens to every couple at least once in their lives. Although more often perceived as a female issue, some men can also suffer from low libido. There are several factors responsible for this drop in sexual desire, and one of the main ones is the overload of work and duties in women’s lives.
A hectic life, juggling work responsibilities, household chores, grocery shopping, children, and all the care that children’s lives involve—snacks, uniforms, school, meals, extracurriculars, plus having to give them attention. Whew! Being a woman really isn’t easy! And at the end of the day, being ready and full of desire for your husband? That’s really complicated, and tiredness tends to win, so when you have the chance to be intimate, you’d rather sleep and rest, leaving your partner disappointed. But tiredness isn’t the only reason for lack of sexual desire; body image issues and low self-esteem can also be responsible for low libido. This ends up making the woman come up with various excuses to avoid her partner, steering clear of any sexual or physical contact. How can you feel desired when, looking in the mirror, you think you look unattractive or unhappy with your body? For someone else to desire you, you need to be the first to take care of yourself and love yourself! Your partner might find you beautiful and desire you greatly, but if you’re not feeling good about yourself or loving yourself, it won’t work!
Another common reason for women’s lack of sexual desire is marital crises. Some crises may last for months or years and this can directly affect the couple’s sex life, cooling off their desire for each other. The absence of affection, partnership, and growing distance from a partner can even cause a feeling of aversion when it comes to sex; in some cases, women may even feel “disgust” toward their husbands. Other reasons for low sexual desire may relate to trauma experienced in childhood or the sexual education received, especially if connected to very strict religious backgrounds. The circumstances around sexual initiation can also cause certain sexual problems, especially if sex happens prematurely without any preparation or maturity.
Many women experience low libido or the complete disappearance of their libido and go on living without missing sex at all. This isn’t much of a problem if they’re single, but when they’re married or in a relationship, it can cause major problems and risks for the relationship, since sex is a part of any romantic partnership and is extremely important for the health of the relationship. Specialists refer to this lack of desire as hypoactive sexual desire disorder.
Are There Medications to Increase Libido? What Treatments Are Recommended?
Since most causes of low sexual desire are linked to psychological issues, the first step is to identify the real reason so that it can be addressed. In some cases, a good conversation with your partner is enough to help stimulate and reignite the relationship. In others, the disappearance of sexual desire is so strong that, even after constant attempts, the spark just doesn’t come back.
Talking to your gynecologist to investigate whether the problem is physical is also an option. In many cases, loss of libido is related to the use of contraceptives, which can have the side effect of reducing libido, and sometimes switching medication can solve the problem—or not. There are some medications that claim to increase libido, promising to boost sexual appetite, control anxiety, increase energy, and even help with orgasm. Of course, every body is different, and people react to medication in different ways and may also suffer side effects. Your doctor can prescribe the most appropriate medication for your case and monitor the treatment to achieve the desired result.
There are also natural remedies in the form of capsules, teas, and powders that claim to be 100% effective, offering the advantage of not having side effects as they are natural products. While their true effectiveness has not been medically proven, data shows people do respond to these treatments, and libido often increases after starting them. Some of these options include: Tribulus Terrestris, arginine, ginkgo biloba, and Muira Puama.
Another solution is to seek out a sexual therapy specialist, who can help the couple identify the root of the problem and recommend the appropriate treatment. Psychotherapy is another option, especially for cases involving past trauma and aversion. There’s also hormone replacement therapy, in which the body receives the hormones it has stopped producing, addressing the issue of low libido as well. There are many different treatment alternatives, and each one is suited to a particular situation, so medical advice is important. Look for a specialist, start treatment, and be happy with your partner again!
See also: Discomfort During Sexual Intercourse – How to Handle It
Photos: Claudiana Gois, Daniel Pádua
