Masturbation is surrounded by myths and prejudices that have solidified over time. There are still questions about this practice of self-erotism, and many people are fearful and reluctant to engage in it. For many years, it was considered an unnatural, sinful practice and an addiction capable of harming one’s health. Even today, it is an activity that generates feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and anxieties. However, it is important to understand that masturbation is a natural and healthy way to relieve erotic tension.

Masturbation is more commonly practiced by men than by women. This is due to cultural reasons, as from an early age men are encouraged to explore their sexuality, while women are discouraged from doing so. Masturbation has proven to be effective in treating ejaculatory disorders and anorgasmia. It allows the individual to enrich their sexual relationships, because by becoming aware of their own body and their sexual response ability, they can experience growth and a much more satisfying sex life. In addition, it makes it easier for women to reach orgasm.

It is important to know how to give pleasure to your own body. Noticing your physical and emotional sensations, your thoughts, feelings, and attitudes is something only you can experience. Discovering areas and ways to touch your body is something to be learned. Your body is your territory and should be owned by you. Therefore, it is too great a responsibility to assign your pleasure to someone else. So, discovering your potential for sensual and sexual pleasure is fundamental to having genuine sexual interaction with another person. Here are some tips:

  1. Set aside 30 to 60 minutes for yourself;
  2. Choose a quiet place where you feel comfortable and won’t be disturbed;
  3. Try to relax and loosen up. Maybe a warm bath can help, as can some relaxation exercises;
  4. Find a comfortable position, standing, sitting, or lying down;
  5. Start by looking at your body and stroking it slowly. With your eyes closed, you can focus your attention more. Use a moisturizing cream or a bath oil of your choice, which can make tactile contact easier;
  6. Notice your pleasant sensations. Caress your breasts, the inner thighs and arms, groin, and neck;
  7. Caress the genital area. Let your hands find the vaginal lips and clitoris. Gently caress them and the area around them. Softly massage the clitoris between two fingers, or in circular movements. Try increasing the speed and vary between firm pressure and light touches as you become more aroused.
  8. Notice the sensations: linger in the areas that give you the best, most pleasurable feelings. Try to discover the different parts of your body and the sensations that give you the most pleasure.
  9. Touch the inside of your vagina, inserting one or more fingers to simulate penetration. Move them inside. Observe your reaction. Be careful with long nails, so you don’t hurt yourself.
  10. Discover ways to awaken your body. Use textures, for example, rub a rough towel or a piece of velvet or silk over your body. Use your imagination. Move your whole body, shifting your hips and legs. The more real the situation, the more exciting it is.
  11. You can vary the time you spend on each part of your body while touching yourself, and you can choose different times of day, whether early in the morning or late at night. Try playing sensual background music, if it won’t be distracting, to help set the mood;
  12. Notice your natural lubrication. You can use other resources to increase your pleasure, such as gels, stimulating oils, vibrators, and masturbators. Be cautious with some products or other additives that could cause skin irritation.

Try to do these discovery exercises twice a week. Find out if you enjoy what you are doing and feeling. Give yourself more time and improve your relationship with your body. This way, you will enjoy sexual self-knowledge.

By Dr. Mirian Lopes, psychologist specializing in human sexuality Bachelor/Teaching Degree in Psychology from UNIP Postgraduate in Human Sexuality from the Faculty of Medicine at the University of São Paulo – FMUSP Office: Rua Silvia, 383, Cerqueira Cesar São Paulo Tel.: (11)3262.1447 and also check out Dr. Mirian’s website by clicking here

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Photo: Lotus Carroll