Oh, when the desire hits hard, there’s just no way to ignore the itch in your uterus. Being a mother is incredible; the emotions involved in this phase of life are truly intense. I think that’s why, after hearing so many people say that a mother’s love is the strongest and most intense feeling you can have, we want to experience that overwhelming love everyone talks about. It goes beyond the instinct to carry on your bloodline on earth; it’s really a need to see a little piece of ourselves walking around out there, to have our heart existing outside our body and to watch it smile, walk, and be loved by others.
The “itchy uterus” feeling can show up and hit you at any moment! It doesn’t depend on age, financial situation, or any reason that could stand in the way of getting pregnant at that time. Sometimes it’s not the “right time” in our eyes: money may be tight, your husband (or partner) might not want kids at that point, you could be in college, unemployed, having family issues, or even facing health problems. When that longing hits, nothing can get it out of our heads, much less our hearts, our souls… We go to great lengths to convince our husband, to improve our financial or health situation, and we’re even capable of going a little crazy just to experience motherhood. What impulsive hopeful mom-to-be has never caught herself taking a pregnancy test 15 days before her period is even due? Easy to say, “just be calm!”
When the trying begins, it feels like you’re going to war. A battle with our bodies, our menstrual cycles, our hormones, and figuring out ovulation. Sometimes it seems like all the desire we feel will make us explode with so much anxiety, with the deep longing to create a new life. It almost feels like this desire makes us forget about the rest of the world… For some, the urge to become a mother ends up hurting the relationship with their husband, interfering with daily activities, with work, and so on.
I myself have passed up so many things, just because of that little itch that kept me up at night—and trust me, it was day and night thinking about having a baby, about feeling my child grow inside me. I forgot to live! I would go to sleep and wake up dreaming about a positive test, would see test lines where there weren’t any, get frustrated, cry, throw fits… Was I ever going to get pregnant?
Lord… Waiting was torture.
That’s why, today I know how a woman feels when she wants to make her dream of becoming a mother come true, and I identify, I sympathize, I support, I comfort, I understand… I don’t judge, I try to guide, but always with my feet on the ground. So, How Do You Deal With This Overwhelming Desire?
Sometimes I would get so tense, so worried about what would happen in the future, that I couldn’t enjoy the moment. I stopped being intimate with my beloved husband for pleasure and avoided him just to save it for fertile days. I thought his desire would increase that way and I’d get pregnant faster. I put off responsibilities just to dive into the world of trying-to-conceive forums and websites; I kept myself from living my life normally because of a longing that didn’t just depend on me (and only me) to come true. It wasn’t just my responsibility to get pregnant, after all, God knows everything, and at the right time he would send me my miracle. I believe this neglect of our lives is a common problem for hopeful moms-to-be—even if your uterus itch is light, not as intense as it is for some other women, it still affects us one way or another at different times in life.
Ideally, take it one day at a time—think about your fertile window, yes, but don’t live entirely for it or because of it, and always enjoy intimacy with pleasure. It sounds like an annoying mantra: stay calm, it’ll happen when it’s meant to, relax and it will happen, don’t focus too much and your time will come… But honestly, as annoying as it is to hear that—no matter who says it—it’s the pure truth. Sometimes your own doctor might warn you about possible issues, like your weight, for example, and we shut our eyes, ears, and hearts to those warnings.
“My test results are great, weight won’t get in the way.” Who says it won’t?
Hearing reality is unpleasant for many women, and I think it’s because even though we know it, we still keep charging ourselves deep down and we don’t want to admit or accept it from anyone. But fellow hopeful mom, if you want to become a mother as much as I did one day, know that this is the best thing to do: wait patiently and do your part. Find a good doctor to follow you, do exams, get treatments if you need them, ask your husband (partner) to get checked out, too—after all, a baby is 50% from each person. Listen to advice from people who mean well (I wouldn’t pay much attention to busybodies or gossips), from your trusted doctor… Keep your mind and heart open, and don’t let the longing blind you. Enjoy the delights of that “itchy uterus,” but always keep your feet on the ground and your mind open. Treat your period as a new beginning and a new chance. Face the wish to be a mom in a positive way and everything will work out.
Not a leaf falls from the tree unless God allows it…
See also: Confessions of the Trying-to-Conceive Life – The Pain of Waiting
