The anticipation that pregnancy brings for the birth is a unique feeling. Only those who have ever waited for a baby, whether from their womb or from the heart, know what it’s like to wait for their greatest love to finally come home, to enjoy their room, their layette. For those who leave the hospital with their babies in their arms, it’s an extra challenge. Birth is a true milestone in the lives of mothers and fathers, but for mother and child, it’s quite particular, because along with the baby comes a wave of feelings, new emotions, even if it’s not the first child. The baby, a much-loved but still unknown being, enters adaptation mode, just like their family and everyone around. It’s normal and very common for everyone to schedule their days around the new family member, and still, at times, it seems like everything will go wrong, especially for first-time parents.

In the hospital, everything seems easier, truth be told. But coming home doesn’t always reflect the mother’s experience in the hospital. There, everything seems easier, the baby seems more “manageable,” even breastfeeding feels less stressful. But once you’re home, reality can hit the parents hard. The baby who before only cried for hunger or a dirty diaper becomes a different little person. Cries nonstop, and all the doubts about how to care for the baby come at once, while solutions seem to trickle in. Advice from so many people around can even confuse the new mom. But don’t despair! Follow these tips from a more than experienced mom—these will certainly help in some way, making the adaptation and the new experience of leaving the maternity ward and the big event of the baby’s arrival at home easier!

How to Handle Leaving the Maternity Ward and Arriving Home?

When you get back from the hospital, the baby will definitely find the environment “strange.” The surrounding sounds, the voices of visitors, the movement that is so different from the hospital—in short, it’s literally another world. Not to mention the number of visitors coming over to meet the new family member, and also being passed from one pair of arms to another, which can leave the baby’s body sore, making them crankier and fussier. Imagine you, who were once in a calm environment, with muffled sounds, listening to the best sound in the world (mom’s heartbeat), now are in this big new world with so much going on and so many people amazed by your beauty? Well, for first-time moms (or not), the best advice is:

  • Make the environment as calm as possible.

How so? And what about visitors and family? Plan ahead! Even before the birth, let everyone know that visits will only be made from a certain date or only with prior notice and consent. It’s not impolite or rude on the mother’s part—it’s simply a preventive measure so visits don’t all arrive at the same time, which could disrupt the adaptation between mother and child.

  • Availability

Make sure you will have total availability for your baby. Having available time will make adaptation and breastfeeding much easier. In the beginning, you might even wonder if your life will just be about breastfeeding, changing diapers, and clothes—and yes, for now, it will be. At least as long as you are exclusively breastfeeding and your baby depends 100% on you. It’s best to get used to the idea of putting housework on the back burner, at least for now. Take advantage and call in your mother-in-law, sister, mom, sisters-in-law, and friends for a helping hand at home. After all, it is at this time you need peace and, above all, to be available for your baby.

  • Be aware that difficulties and unexpected events will arise.

No matter how much you prepared yourself with theory before birth, nothing is like putting it all into practice. Taking care of a newborn is a big task! Know that your days will revolve around your baby, and that, at least for a while, your life will be all about experiencing the baby world. Don’t feel bad if, by any chance, you aren’t able to reach a goal, like breastfeeding or any other plan you set during pregnancy or before. Cracked nipples, problems with the baby, scares, and unforeseen events—all are part of the motherhood adventure.

Things don’t always happen the way we think, plan, or want. Also, don’t think you won’t be a good mom just because you haven’t had any experience with children or babies. It may seem like the maternal instinct gives you what you need, even preparing you for something going wrong. Nobody is obliged to be the best mom in the world or have the most beautiful body on the planet in the first month of the baby’s life. Live your experience intensely without creating romanticized expectations from a diaper rash ointment commercial. Being a mom is about learning every day, a little at a time with your baby.

  • The baby will adapt, yes!

You may think you will never sleep through the night again, that feedings will be every hour, and that the colic will never end. But time is everyone’s friend, and as the baby grows, those little problems will get easier to handle. There will be a time when your baby will sleep through the night, you‘ll be able to take a shower longer than 30 seconds, your nipples will stop hurting, and labor or postpartum pains will become distant memories. Your baby’s routine will soon get as close as possible to the family’s rhythm.

  • Allow dad to get involved

Don’t leave dad only with the fun part of the story. Supportive dads want to participate and moms should give them the space to do so. If he’s afraid or doesn’t really want to, let him know how important his involvement is. Leave the baby with him and get some rest! If he wants to give a bath, let him; change diapers, ditto. Participation is fundamental.

  • Filter the comments

Not every piece of advice you hear during this phase of life is what you want to hear. So, learn to filter and not take certain “criticisms” to heart. As absurd as they might sound, these suggestions are meant to help—just keep what adds value to you and ignore what doesn’t align with the way you chose to care for your baby.

So, enjoy this moment a lot. Even if you have other children, each one is unique, and the adaptation will be just like that—unique. Live intensely and take lots of photos; babies change a lot from birth, and by the end of the first month, your baby will already seem completely different.

See also: Visiting the Newborn – Basic Etiquette Guide

Photos: Scott SM