Motherhood is something so natural, so prominent in a woman’s life, that from a young age girls spend hours playing and fantasizing about their lives as mothers. Changing diapers, feeding, giving a bottle, teaching, and scolding are all part of games—and real life when the time comes. In theory, everything seems wonderful and enchanting, a true fairy tale. But what actually changes in a woman’s life after the arrival of a child? Is it only magic and fulfillment that women experience on their motherhood journey? Even those who are the most prepared, who get pregnant exactly when they decide it’s time to be a mother, have to give up several things to become one. That’s why the old saying “being a mother is not for just anyone” exists, and it really isn’t. When you think about having children, of course, you imagine the beautiful scenes of motherhood and the hard parts are best left unthought of, lol. To be a mother, a woman needs to give up her own life, often put vanity aside, literally step out of her heels, and let that natural human “selfishness” make way for an inexplicable love. Who hasn’t seen that single woman labeled as stuck-up and selfish change completely after motherhood? That’s exactly what happens: motherhood transforms a woman’s life completely. There are those who say that when they become mothers they’ll do things differently, that they won’t let motherhood take over their lives, but that theory only lasts until the day their first child is born. It’s impossible not to give yourself over completely, not to give your all, or not to give up things you used to do. Especially when your old routine doesn’t fit a child’s.

Before and After

There aren’t just one, two, or three changes a woman must face after a child arrives—there are MANY. For those who love their freedom, like going out without any time to come home, hate routine, and refuse to ever let go of being impeccable, keeping up with the beauty salon and a full wardrobe—think twice if you really want to be a mother right now. Maybe there will come a time when your biological clock sounds the alarm and tells you the moment has come, and all those pleasures you’d never give up for anything will stop mattering and make way for a new phase. That’s why we always hear that to be a mother, you have to really want it, be absolutely sure of your choice, and be psychologically prepared, because it’s really not easy to give up almost everything you love for motherhood. Like any decision, there are consequences. It may seem drastic to outsiders—but it feels natural for those living it. One thing is true: prepare to experience the biggest adventure of your life!

Outings and Fun

Before having kids, any last-minute plan is welcome. Staying up all night and going out every day of the week without a care for how long you’ll sleep is just part of the fun. Lunches—and especially dinners—with friends in exotic places at odd hours are a delight. Having friends over to hang out or turn your home into a casino is always something to look forward to. After kids, going out without a set return time is not on the agenda—unless you plan days in advance and hire a trusted babysitter or leave your child with grandma to make sure they are well cared for. Going out every day of the week? That’s out of the question! After all, you have a baby who needs you, and your new routine’s physical demands wouldn’t allow it. Outings, lunches, and dinners in unusual places and at odd times now have to be very carefully planned. After all, your baby needs to sleep at the right time, and you can only go if it’s a kid-friendly place. Not to mention if the venue has a proper place where you can change a diaper, heat a bottle, or ask someone to warm up baby food when it’s mealtime.

Grocery Shopping

Before, at the home of a couple without kids, everything is easier. The pantry and fridge are full of quick meals, frozen foods, canned goods—or just empty, since they’d rather eat out just the two of them. Even though dining out might be expensive, the low supermarket spend usually balances things out. If you ever thought you spent too much on eating out, just wait until you have a child. After kids, grocery shopping becomes a weekly, if not daily, event—after all, we always forget something. The couple’s once-tiny monthly shopping list becomes a massive sheet that now includes diapers, baby soap, essential hygiene items, yogurt, fruit, baby food, and all those delicious, indispensable things for a child’s life. As the shopping list grows, so does the bill—and so do the family expenses. The supermarket visit, which used to happen just once a month as needed, becomes a family necessity. Get ready to become a ninja at remembering brands, comparing prices, and spotting diaper deals!

Bedside Reading

Before having kids, bedside reading changed monthly, biweekly, or for some, even weekly. You loved getting book recommendations and would even plan your next reads in advance. Hours would be spent in bookstores looking for new suggestions, eager to finish your current book. After kids, that book starts to gather dust. Reading suggestions are postponed and that book you’d devour in a few days gets left unfinished. Climbing into bed to read at night stops being enjoyable, because you’re so tired that you just want to sleep, lol. Bookstore trips are replaced by visits to a new section. Instead of your old interests, you now search for children’s books and fairy tales. Musical books, illuminated books, coloring books, and interactive books for your child are the most interesting now.

Travel

Before having kids, a trip might be painstakingly planned for months or decided last-minute for a beach camping getaway. If you got an invite on a Friday afternoon, your bag would be packed to leave that same night. Just a few clothes, a swimsuit, flip-flops, and some toiletries were enough for a magical weekend with your loved one—no matter the destination, how many hours you’d travel, or what accommodations would be like. All that mattered was being together! After kids, every detail has to be thought through: the lodging, how many hours traveling, is there a suitable place to eat? And the luggage? It becomes a full extension of the home, with hygiene products, clothes, shoes, kitchen items, and snacks for the trip. If you’re heading to the beach, add sand toys, a beach umbrella, water, sunscreen. For the stay, remember the tablet, milk, chocolate milk, cookies, pillow, and blanket. Oh, and believe me—you’ll always forget one of those essentials for keeping the peace on your trip. These are some of the biggest changes, but there are millions more that all mothers could list without hesitation. Each person or family will experience and feel the changes in their own way, since priorities before kids are different for everyone. You’ll probably hear most about how sleeping through the night and your couple’s sex life change. The important thing is to face these changes with joy, to live the new stage with love and pleasure, and to realize that just because everything’s different doesn’t mean it’s any worse. New stories will be lived, new smiles (so, so many smiles will be given and received during this stage), and many wonderful experiences will be had. Stop comparing before and after—enjoy the moment and be happy with your family! See Also: I Want to Be a Mom—Am I Ready? Photo: ImageBG