All around the world, people believe that motherhood is the most rewarding part of life. But the transition of men and women into becoming parents causes profound changes in their marriage and overall happiness, especially when it comes to sex after the arrival of children. Parents usually welcome a baby with great expectations. However, as the mother-baby bond grows, it is likely that other relationships will begin to wear down.
Main Difficulties of Sex After Having Children
There are several factors that make sex after the arrival of children more difficult. The first difficulties arise from the moment the mother comes home with her baby. There are so many things to feel and think about, like breastfeeding, the baby’s routine, postpartum pains, recovery period, insecurity about the body, sleep deprivation, exhaustion, that the last thing a woman can think about is sex. After a while, juggling home and work, kids, homework, schedules for activities with the children, time for your own activities, at the end of the day the bed seems like the best choice. As a result, the couple ends up growing distant, and sex after the arrival of children becomes more and more rare.
How to Improve This Situation
There is no perfect recipe for a couple to go back to having sex after the arrival of children like they did before having a baby. Above all, communication is the most important part and the essential support in the relationship. Talking to your partner about what is troubling or bothering you is a way to make him understand that it’s not on purpose. Usually, it’s just a phase and you need to try to turn it around in the best way possible.
How to Spice Up the Relationship
Of course, it’s not always easy, so we’ve put together some tips to work on with one goal in mind: helping to improve sex after the arrival of children.
Be at peace with yourself
This is the first piece of advice. Take some time to take care of yourself, whether it’s a physical activity or a day at the salon. Take a day to de-stress — if a woman is rested, she’ll have more desire to take better care of her relationship, and sex after the arrival of children won’t be affected.
Work on your mind
The brain is the largest sexual organ. You have to start with it to feel good about sex. If you’re angry or anxious with your partner, you first need to deal with your mind. The anger you’re feeling will prevent sex from happening and make sex after the arrival of children even more complicated.
Exercise
When you feel good about your body, you feel better. Physical exercise releases endorphins, which make a woman feel sexier. After the birth of children, it will be hard — no, impossible — to find the time and energy to work out (let alone have sex), but you need to arrange this time to feel happier with your body.
Know your body
Touch yourself so you know the sensitive areas of your body. Where do you like to be touched? This knowledge is very important and useful for the person who loves you. Your partner can’t read your mind, so let him know where you like to be caressed.
Fantasize
The more you think about sex, the more you’ll want it. To make this happen, reading a good book or erotic stories, listening to sexy music, watching steamy movies will help you get in the mood more quickly. After all, sex after the arrival of children can be intense and fun, too.
Do small and unexpected romantic gestures
Give your partner a massage when your baby is already asleep. Dress in a way that is comfortable and makes you feel confident and good. This will show him how much you are trying to meet his needs, even though you’re busy. It might not happen all the time, but finding a way to show you haven’t forgotten about him is a great start.
Exchange sexy messages
Yes, it may seem a bit bold, but exchanging messages with your partner helps the couple connect, showing each other that there is desire and it can be fulfilled by the other. This helps ignite that spark. Spontaneous sex is great, but when you’re stuck in the daily routine, it becomes impossible and sex after the arrival of children really cools off.
Set the mood
Surely you’ve seen a romantic comedy where someone lights candles in the bedroom before sex. That’s called setting the mood (and, by the way, everyone looks better in dim candlelight). Your room has probably become messy and neglected after the arrival of a new baby — tidy up the clutter and prepare it for a romantic night, and everything else will surely follow.
Kiss often
With kids at home, we can’t always make out with our partner — sometimes even kissing is forgotten during sex because it has to end quickly because of the kids. But it’s important to remember that you’re probably with your partner because everything started with a kiss, so why forget about it now? Kiss whenever you can. Don’t think it has to lead to sex — just enjoy the kiss for what it is and see where it takes you.
Take a break
Sex after the arrival of children is often also made difficult because mothers don’t feel good about leaving their baby with a nanny to go out on a date. For this reason, the ideal is to leave them with a close relative or someone you trust. You need to make the effort to go out once a month, with or without other couples. It doesn’t have to mean spending a lot of money, but that time alone helps you reconnect on a deeper level. It helps bring back a time when it was just the two of you, before the kids made you forget what a full sex life was like.
Have enthusiasm
No matter how tired you are, dig deep through that sleep deprivation and gather the energy for a romantic night. The less sex you do, the less you’ll want it. Likewise, the more sex you have, the more you’ll want to snuggle with your partner. So be willing, even when sex is the last thing on your tired mind. Relationships are already quite difficult on their own. Add children to the equation and you will certainly have challenges to keep the bond with your partner strong while playing the role of mother. That’s why it’s important not to forget that it was because of the connection between you two that your family was created — and sex after the arrival of children shouldn’t be a barrier. So get to it and good luck! See Also: Discomfort in Sexual Relations – How to Overcome It Photos: StockSnap
