Here’s some more advice from Michele at Maternity Coach! What should you do when visiting a newborn? Learn from an expert how to welcome visitors and handle tricky situations that may arise.

There’s no doubt that a visit—especially an unexpected one—can be very stressful for moms. Excessive tiredness, the mess, adjusting to feeding schedules, and sleepless nights are just a few of many reasons we can list and hang on our doors to ward off visitors. Since that isn’t possible, especially with the first child, we’re sharing some tips to help avoid more confusion in those first days after your baby arrives:

  • Be clear with friends and family that you prefer to have visitors at the maternity hospital. Visits in the hospital are usually quick, you’ll have help from the nurses if the baby starts to cry, and there will be no mess to clean up afterwards.
  • If possible, organize a presentation tea (welcoming party). Many mothers do not like to have visitors in the hospital and prefer to arrange a single day for family and friends to meet the baby. Usually, mothers hire a doula or nanny to stay with the baby in a room while they greet guests in another area of the house. The advantage of organizing this event is that all the mess happens in one day, invitations are sent before the baby is born (avoiding unexpected visits), and people quickly meet the newborn since the baby is not in the same room as the guests.
  • Many mothers do not want to set a specific date for visits at home and are also not prepared for a welcoming party. In these cases, the tip is to spread the word to as many people as possible that you only want to receive visitors a month after birth, and that it is essential for people to let you know when they’d like to visit the baby. This can be done in a polite and fun way, where the mom can share the “baby’s” phone number or email so “he” can schedule visits. This is a good time frame to adjust schedules and, especially, for moms to get through the baby blues (the sadness that affects mothers for about two weeks after their child is born, when frequent and unexpected crying often happens).

We should mention that some people really do visit to help. They can watch the baby so the mother can shower or eat, help organize the house, and often even change a diaper. Unfortunately, we can’t filter who visits… Which would be ideal most of the time. For this reason, don’t feel embarrassed, awkward, or uncomfortable about being honest in what will certainly be an extremely challenging time. Remember, you are the mother and should put your and your family’s comfort first. Enjoy your moment. With love, Michele.

Michele Melão is a specialist in infant sleep training and baby planner at Maternity Coach (www.maternitycoach.com.br) certified by the International Academy of Baby Planner Professionals (IABPP) and International Maternity Institute (IMI). In addition to sleep consulting, Maternity Coach offers a range of services for pregnant women and babies, including shantala massage, breastfeeding support, aromatherapy, and pregnancy and newborn photography.

See also: Visiting a Newborn – Basic Etiquette Guide Photo: phalinn