The postpartum period is a very delicate phase for the woman, during which she will need help with basic things such as going to the bathroom or holding the baby, especially right after birth. That’s why it’s so important for the father to be involved in the postpartum period, helping her feel safe and physically better. After childbirth, the mother is responsible for breastfeeding and is the baby’s main attachment figure. If the mother needs to rest, the baby can stay with the father, but the father’s role at this stage is not easy and, in general, he faces insecurities, pressures, and doubts.

The Father’s Role in the Postpartum and Puerperium

Until not so long ago, the father’s involvement in the postpartum period did not exist. The father was hardly involved with his wife’s pregnancy, the birth, or the upbringing of the children. It was common, for those who could afford it, that the help the mother needed in the postpartum and puerperium was provided by other women, because it was not considered “a man’s job.” Fortunately, things have changed in recent years. Although the change has been slow and requires effort, what happens today is already quite different. Today, the father’s involvement in the postpartum is almost never a passive element; he does not want to remain on the sidelines. Often, feelings of discomfort, insecurity, and uncertainty appear in fathers, as a result of the lack of clarity about the roles they themselves want and feel they should assume, as well as what the family and society expect of them. Therefore, the father’s involvement in the postpartum should be defined through the tasks that can be delegated to him during this period.

The Most Appropriate Tasks for the Father During This Phase

Coming home with the baby is a crucial moment, and sometimes feared by parents, since the hospital environment that made them feel secure is left behind. From now on, the parents are “alone facing the challenge” and everything they learned throughout their birth preparations seems to disappear or not to be followed. It is likely that the woman is still physically recovering, making the father’s involvement in the postpartum important. In fact, it’s most common for both to help each other so that this moment does not turn disastrous. The advice is that, after the baby is born, the father has as much time as possible to dedicate to his family. If paternity leave can be combined with holidays or days off for any other reason, it will be very helpful for the entire family to adapt to the new reality. Help her walk, get out of bed, approach the baby. The first contacts with the newborn will be constant and valuable for the father’s involvement in the postpartum and his recognition as a father. He will also have to take care of diaper changes or baths while the mother is unable to do so. The child develops the attachment bond with only one person. Ideally, that person is the mother, and this bond is mainly created through breastfeeding. The mother’s dedication to the baby in these cases is exclusive. All her time is spent with the baby. The father’s involvement in the postpartum includes, in this sense, supporting and lending a hand in everything he can, such as: helping the woman sit or get up when that’s still difficult in the first days after childbirth, taking care of the household chores such as cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, looking after the other children (if there are any), among other tasks. Another task is managing and filtering visits from people who want to meet the child; those who may have to wait a bit can also be handled by him. And, possibly, the memories of those days—in photos, videos—can be much better if the father is responsible for them. For many men, the father’s involvement in the postpartum does not mean much change to their usual routine, but others will need a period of adaptation and even a bit of calm to deal with this new stage. One piece of advice is: for the man to not be overwhelmed by his involvement in the postpartum, he should try to get more involved with how his household works during the pregnancy.

Supporting the Mother Is Taking Care of the Baby Through Her

During this initial period, the father is a secondary figure to the baby. The mother, in turn, devotes all her attention to the little one. As a result, the father may feel excluded from the close relationship established between mother and child in the first months. That’s why, in many cases, men feel jealous of the baby. This is what specialists call the Laius complex. This, combined with discomfort and uncertainty, sometimes causes the man to feel abandoned or rejected, a certain discontent towards the child, and a rivalry with his partner, which can lead to conflicts and crises that may even end in separation. Therefore, communication is essential. Lots of dialogue, so both sides can express their feelings as openly as possible, without judging each other but trying to understand and find solutions.

And How Does Paternity Leave Work?

Currently, working fathers have a period of 5 days to stay with their wife and child—Paternity Leave. Some companies offer slightly longer paternity leave, but this only applies to employees of companies registered with the Citizen Company Program (a program implemented in 2008, which also allows companies to offer 6 months of maternity leave instead of 4 months). However, not all fathers are able or can leave work during this period (in the case of self-employed workers). Consequently, this time is not enough for the mother’s recovery, so he may be a secondary figure for the baby, but the father’s involvement in the postpartum is necessary and very important for the mother. Taking advantage of this time with his wife and baby will certainly result in future benefits. Also see: Behavior – When a Couple Becomes a Family and the Jealousy Photos: Andrew Blight