Anxiety is one of the main factors that accompanies girls and women who want and are trying to get pregnant. Most women trying to conceive are anxious by nature. It’s the urgency that the biological clock sparks in a woman when it comes to motherhood. Often the desire to become a mother is so strong that it ends up getting in the way, making a woman more anxious, and the topic of motherhood/pregnancy starts to follow her everywhere she goes. No wonder we start to see pregnant women everywhere we are, and it seems like the whole world decides to have children. All friends, cousins, sisters-in-law, and women around us decide to become moms overnight. It’s not easy to hold back the anxiety to become a mother at times like these. But how do you control the anxiety of wanting to have a baby in your womb, to carry and finally hold that baby in your arms after birth?

I confess, I wasn’t the most secure of those trying to conceive. I’ve even posted here about the crazy things I did when I was trying to get pregnant, and I swear it’s all true! The anxiety of trying to conceive was killing me, and I sought support from fellow TTC (trying to conceive) companions. We were together at all times – the good, when a positive came, the bad, when a cycle full of hope to become a mother turned into a big disappointment, and even in the toughest moments when one of the girls lost the long-awaited baby. The anxiety brought me different experiences, including pregnancy symptoms even without a late period.

But why is it so hard to become a mother? In my opinion—and I learned the hard way—that this same anxiety that makes women trying to conceive unite in their goal to help each other, can also become the villain at the moment of conception. The mind can definitely get in the way! It’s hard to talk about, because I wasn’t the calmest of people. I cried, I gave up, I went back to trying… But my desire to be a mother was stronger than all of that, and as soon as I calmed down, the long-awaited positive came. As I always say, if you want to be the mother of your husband’s/partner’s/boyfriend’s/fiancé’s child, it’s because you love him, and the best part of trying to conceive should be the trying itself. Making love with the love of your life for pleasure, giving yourself in the moment out of love, with desire and passion, is truly the best way to get pregnant.

I Want to Be a Mom—But How Do I Calm Myself?

I hated myself for not having the patience of Job that some women in the group I attended had, I wanted to be like that too! But I couldn’t wait until 10 dpo to take the pregnancy test that had been set aside since the beginning of the cycle. I thought: I want to be a mother, but how do I hold myself back? How do I not blame myself for failing to conceive at the moment I want it most? The urgency to see a positive is immense and reality doesn’t always match our dreams or all the plans we made for everything turning out right.

It may sound silly, but I always seemed to get my positive once I relaxed and went through other things in life. No wonder so many women without apparent fertility issues end up getting pregnant unexpectedly after adopting or after going through a major problem in life and putting pregnancy on the back burner. Of course, if you’re trying to get pregnant, you should keep all your hormonal tests and ultrasounds up to date and have sex on the right days. As my wise mother says, do your 50% and God will do the other 50%. As I’ve already mentioned in a post with tips for those trying to conceive, we can do our part to give nature a hand, and let nature handle the rest. Once I heard a phrase that has stuck with me ever since:

God doesn’t delay, He perfects!

So, dear woman trying to conceive, know that God hasn’t forgotten you. He just knows the right moment to send you the longed-for little angel, who will bring with them the greatest love a person can ever feel in this world and show you what it means to be a mom! See also: Adventures of a master TTC – Trying to conceive

Photo: Personal Collection