Co-sleeping is simply sharing the double bed with your baby, of course, together with your partner. This method of co-sleeping is somewhat controversial as there are experts who are totally against it, while others support it due to its benefits. Co-sleeping creates a very strong bond between parents and the baby, and this bond can bring future problems. Initially, co-sleeping is beneficial for parents, especially for the mother, since the comfort of breastfeeding without having to get up several times at night is very appealing. Later, as the baby grows, co-sleeping can provide security for both the baby and the child.
However, some precautions should be taken when practicing co-sleeping with the baby. In addition to avoiding it when one of the parents is a very heavy sleeper, mothers who breastfeed in bed should also be aware when they are very tired; breastfeeding while lying down requires caution as the breast could “smother” the baby, so if you are very tired try sitting up to breastfeed. An alternative to co-sleeping are bed extenders, side bassinets, or co-sleepers, which are also a good option. These can be found in specialty baby stores and are still quite new; they allow the baby to remain close to the mother but in their own space. Another alternative to extend the bed is to remove one side of the crib, if it is the same height as the couple’s bed, and place it next to the bed. It can help a lot. Safety tips are always welcome; how about putting a side rail on the couple’s bed to prevent the child from falling?
Knowing when to stop the method is also important. There is, of course, no specific time for this to happen; it’s up to the parents to set boundaries and gradually encourage the child to sleep in their own bed over time. And what about the couple’s sexuality with co-sleeping? Of course, there is a way to manage everything, but it is important for the couple to pay attention to this factor. A sexual life is very important in a marriage and setting aside time for just the two of you is essential. But what are the pros and cons from the perspective of those who experience co-sleeping with their baby? Their daily joys and struggles? See the accounts of two readers and their different experiences with co-sleeping.
Mom Kethleen Erdman, 21 years old, and baby Murilo Erdman, 1 year and 13 days.
Trocando Fraldas: How did co-sleeping happen: was it natural or something you planned?
Kethleen: It happened naturally. I planned to put him in his own room, set everything up nicely, crib and all, but my son had a lot of colic when he was a newborn so he hardly slept at night, and when he did he stayed with me. I started to feel bad leaving him alone in his crib even though I was sleeping on a single bed next to him. That’s when he came to my bed and hasn’t left since.
Trocando Fraldas: What is the advantage of co-sleeping with the baby?
Kethleen: Well, I feel it’s one of the only times we can really enjoy each other, even when he’s sleeping, we share affection, hugs and kisses, lots of cuddles, and it’s not an abrupt separation because he spent 9 months inside mommy’s belly and as soon as he’s born, he’s in an unknown place and alone – I don’t like that idea, haha.
Trocando Fraldas: What is the disadvantage?
Kethleen: The only “disadvantage” I can think of is with intimacy, but we manage just fine – as my husband says, our bed is just for sleeping and nothing else, lol. Trocando Fraldas: Did your husband agree and support you or was that only at first? Kethleen: Yes, my husband even encouraged it, and he also loves it, never complained, and I remember that when I tried taking our son out of our bed, he didn’t allow it, haha, he likes having our child close by.
Trocando Fraldas: What is it like to co-sleep?
Kethleen: Love, attachment, affection – it’s wonderful.
Can you imagine yourselves without co-sleeping?
Kethleen: Yes, when he’s a bit older, but everything very naturally, no abrupt transition or anything, all in his own time.
Trocando Fraldas: Any advice for pregnant women considering this method…
Kethleen: I support it, the fragile little baby needs to feel safe, it’s very good and it’s not an abrupt separation either for him or for mommy. Babies grow so fast, enjoy every moment with them, even the moments of sleep, haha … and it’s also easier for breastfeeding; but of course, everything should be discussed between the couple to make sure no one is unhappy with the decision.
kisses, God bless
Blogger’s Note: Besides co-sleeping, there is also room sharing – my husband and I are still experiencing this and we are getting ready to move our youngest out of our room. We’re preparing a space for her with her siblings, and you can tell that she herself is already asking to sleep with them, even though she’s really attached to me. The right time for this transition is up to the parents.
See also: Baby Growth and Their Phases
Photo: Kelly Sue DeConnick, Personal collection
