The other day I was remembering my first pregnancy, it was a very beautiful moment but since I’ve always been a very anxious person, of course, pregnancy was no different. I remembered when I was pregnant with Joana, I was about 21 years old and was practically newlywed. I lived far from my mother, to whom I am very attached, and far from my whole family, so it was only a matter of time before anxiety during pregnancy showed up—and it did. I remember that very early on I was already thinking about the hospital bag, what labor would be like, and that was around the second trimester. Anxiety during pregnancy made me wish I could have the baby before the time. Even with no experience with children, I couldn’t wait to see my belly show, I wanted to have the baby, I wanted, wanted… this did me a lot of harm and I had no idea at the time.
I went through a process of anxiety during pregnancy that was really bad for me, all I wanted was for the 9 months of pregnancy to be over quickly, I wanted everything to fly by! But why? Being pregnant was what I wanted most! In a way, it’s natural for this to happen, but bad thoughts crossed my mind, I had terrible nightmares and the feeling that I was suffocating! I even woke my husband up in the middle of the night just because I couldn’t sleep out of fear. Fear? Afraid of what? Fear that my daughter would be born with a birth defect, fear that I wouldn’t be able to take care of the baby after birth, fear of giving birth, fear of being home alone and going into labor… I was even afraid of my own shadow!
I reached a point where my doctor had to intervene, advising me to see a psychologist who reassured me, saying that all of this was normal. It was a problem that many pregnant women face, the dreaded stage of anxiety during pregnancy, which can even start mildly before pregnancy begins. But what to do then in these cases of pregnancy anxiety? Most treatment for anxiety during pregnancy is therapeutic, a psychologist is a pregnant woman’s best friend in milder cases of anxiety. I confess, just having someone to talk to, someone who understood my pregnant woman’s neuroses, was a huge comfort! She listened to me and, with all the care in the world, explained things and gave me guidance, and I started to feel better. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that therapy, I don’t know what would have happened during Joana’s birth, since there were some complications. You can read Joana’s birth story here.
How to Diagnose and Treat Anxiety During Pregnancy
Some more severe cases of anxiety during pregnancy must be treated with medication. The doctor will weigh the benefit vs. risk of antidepressants and anxiolytics (rarely), to help the pregnant woman during this phase. The decision to use stronger medications, like fluoxetine and similar drugs, should be made together by the gynecologist caring for the pregnant woman and a psychiatrist. There are indications that extreme, untreated anxiety during pregnancy can lead to problems such as growth restriction of the baby, because the surge of adrenaline can interfere with the baby’s development. The elders used to say, “Wishing for a premature birth is asking for it to happen,” I don’t know if it’s related, but that’s what happened to me—I wanted so badly for her to come earlier that it ended up happening! I had a premature birth, at 35 weeks, and it was very difficult for both her and me.
With the other pregnancies it was different, the second one in particular was very calm and peaceful. The third pregnancy was more worrisome because of the anxiety I felt, not like the first time, but it was still there. I believe it was because my blood pressure was high and I was at risk for preeclampsia. My blood pressure wasn’t great but I didn’t know if it was because of anxiety or if it was just physiological. Maybe one thing led to another—I felt bad and then my blood pressure went up, maybe that was it. The fact is that I was able to get through the pregnancy without having to take any medication for anxiety, but even so, my mood swung a lot. I felt like a bipolar person, actually, we pregnant women are like that! Blame it on the hormonal roller coaster.
Anxiety during pregnancy is very common, but how do you know when your anxiety is beginning to go beyond acceptable limits? Pregnant women need to pay attention to these symptoms:
- Restlessness without an apparent reason
- Sweating
- Trembling
- Tingling
- Loss of control
- Extreme crying
- Negative thoughts that feel like an imminent threat
When all or three of these symptoms appear more than once a month, it’s a sign that something’s not right. Dreams are common, but if they start to really bother you, the best thing is to talk to a psychologist about it. What bothers you during pregnancy? What are your fears? A psychologist will certainly help you get many of these often unfounded fears out of your mind. Only those who go through anxiety crises during pregnancy know what the risks are and what it’s like. Husbands of pregnant women live closely with this anxiety, and during this sensitive moment should understand that it’s not easy, from both a hormonal and psychological perspective, and supporting their partners is fundamental. Anxiety during pregnancy is not nonsense!
I was an anxious pregnant woman and I say with all the experience I’ve had: don’t deny your condition, help is the best thing when we feel fragile. Pregnancy is a very beautiful phase and should be lived to the fullest, but as with everything new and unknown, it can bring fears that may get out of control.
Make your doctor your best friend during pregnancy!
See also: From the Positive Test to Melissa’s Birth Story – Risk of Preeclampsia
Photos: Personal Collection