Having a child is one of the greatest blessings for any human being. The very first moment you look at that tiny being you created brings about a unique and indescribable feeling. And although it is a moment of extreme happiness, it is also a delicate time when various problems can arise, especially if the baby is prone to be born with some illness, is premature, or if complications occurred during delivery.
All women can face this hardship and must confront such a challenging moment. Being an ICU mom means leaving your heart beating outside your body in the care of others, and in some cases, having to leave and say goodbye, even though you want to stay. It means setting aside all your expectations and hopes, wishing for the nightmare to end quickly.
But there are some things you can do so that your baby’s hospitalization is not a complete nightmare. Today, we will talk about how to deal with this situation and with the emotions that inevitably arise during this time.
How to Deal with the Shock?
The first thing to keep in mind is that this is reality. Accepting your baby’s condition is fundamental so you can stay calm and cope with the shock of being an ICU mom.
Of course, this will not be easy; it will take time and there will be many moments of true despair—especially when your baby’s health takes time to improve or even when their condition worsens.
Keep in mind that a newborn baby is extremely fragile, and if they were born with a problem that led them to the ICU, that fragility is even greater. This means that your baby’s medical condition will likely be unstable. In other words, there will be days of improvement and days of worsening, or days when the doctor simply cannot tell you when your baby can be discharged.
This moment of rationalization is important to help you cope with the shock and start this journey together with your baby in the ICU. Just like your baby’s condition, these days will be unpredictable. Some will be better, filled with hope, and others may even be devastating. Keeping your feet on the ground and your head clear is important, as your baby will still need you a lot.
Ask the Doctor All Your Questions
Another important step you can take to help deal with the situation is to ask the ICU pediatrician all possible questions. They are responsible for acting as the link between you and your baby. It is the doctor who will help you and deliver both the good and the bad news that needs to be shared.
It is very important to ask everything you think is necessary, even if your questions seem silly, because this will keep you calm and grounded in your baby’s reality. There is nothing worse than living through such an anguishing time without knowing exactly what is going on. All these doubts can be resolved over time, as they arise, so don’t rush!
One important tip we can offer is: Don’t blame the doctor if there are setbacks. They are there to help you and keep you informed about everything that happens to your baby. Rarely is something truly the doctor’s fault, and taking out your frustration or despair on someone who is helping you does not improve anything, so always keep your composure!
How to Overcome the Temporary Separation Between Mother and Baby
Besides the fear for the baby’s health, one of the main pains for any ICU mom is undoubtedly the forced separation from her child. A baby needs their mother’s touch and affection in those first days, not only for their recovery, but also to feel safer out here in the world.
This bond between mother and baby is essential to develop the everlasting ties of love and care that will be built throughout life. That’s why we offer some tips here to help you learn how to overcome this temporary separation and deal more positively with the situation.
Rely on Help from People Close to You
Dealing with this kind of shock is definitely not something you should go through alone or without support, so relying on your friends, family, and partner is extremely important at this time.
Support from others is comforting. Seeing people share your feelings helps everyone strengthen each other, making it easier to get through this situation without complete despair. So, do not turn away help when it is offered—on the contrary, accept any show of support and affection you receive. You’ll find out just how important it is.
Try to Stay Calm
As hard as it may seem, staying calm is essential. Remember that your baby needs you deeply, and now you have to keep your composure so that when your baby is discharged, you are not completely mentally exhausted. Clearly, this is not easy or simple to do, but it is absolutely necessary.
Visit your baby every day, follow every aspect of their care as closely as you can, check and inquire about their treatments, speak to them, and touch them whenever possible. It might feel a little bit strange—coping with the machines, wires, and incubator—but your baby needs to feel that you are in contact with them somehow. Talk to your baby and always calm them down; this will be important for both of you.
Keep a Positive Mindset
One of the most important tips for coping with this temporary separation is to keep this in mind: It really is only temporary. In time, you’ll have your baby in your arms again—to care for, feed, and watch grow up happy and healthy.
Of course, when your baby’s health is fragile, there are risks and bad possibilities, but you shouldn’t dwell on them. Mainly because it doesn’t help at all to imagine the worst or think your baby might have bigger problems or remain hospitalized for longer—these thoughts will only bring you down and intensify your fears and insecurities. Stay positive, because that is what will give you strength to face it all.
Take Care of Your Own Health Too
During all this rush, worry, and sadness, a woman’s health is often left aside, but we cannot forget that a woman has just given birth and still needs care herself. With everything on your mind, it’s hard to focus on resting, but it is so important.
To make sure you’re ready, healthy, and well to welcome your baby when you get the all-clear, you need to take care of yourself. That means you must eat well, keep your emotions under control, and not let the situation get you down—and rest whenever possible.
Not taking care of your own health at this point will only make the situation worse, since your baby will depend on you for feeding and care afterward. So keep this in mind!
Being an ICU mom is definitely not an easy task and demands a lot from your psychological wellbeing. This can be particularly concerning, since you have just come out of pregnancy.
Nevertheless, you have to find strength to fight alongside your baby and, at the right time, finally take them home. And that feeling is also indescribable and amazing. There are so many emotions involved from pregnancy to childbirth, and having a baby in the ICU not only heightens many of those emotions but also teaches valuable lessons about love, hope, and patience, since every ICU mom needs so much of all three in order to get through this phase.
See Also: Premature Babies – Special Care and Attention
Photo: Calleamanecer
