If there is a painful process for mothers and children, it is the school adaptation phase. Perhaps it hurts the mother more to have her little one away from her eyes for a few hours than it does the child who will discover a new world. The first days are always difficult and filled with tears, which are not always just from the children who don’t want to enter school. Some children resist going in out of fear that their parents won’t come back for them, others simply because they have never been away from their parents. After all, they will be in the hands of completely unfamiliar people, in a totally new environment, and crying is the way children show how insecure and afraid they feel.
In other cases, it’s the mothers who leave their children behind in tears, totally insecure and afraid about how they will behave and whether they will feel scared. Usually in these cases, the children go in just fine and say goodbye cheerfully, ready to get to know their new routine—unless they see and sense their parents are insecure.
That’s why the school adaptation process exists—not just for the children, but also for anxious parents who worry about their child’s behavior. Each school has its own adaptation method and the period they consider appropriate, but most agree that this process is necessary to reassure parents and children and adjust to the new routine, including giving teachers time to get to know their students. At first, it’s 1 to 2 hours, on the next day the time is extended by a few more minutes, and on the following day, another hour is added until by the end of the week the child is already staying for the period they will be there every day until the end of the year.
The key point for school adaptation to happen smoothly and without stress is for parents to have complete confidence in the school where they are leaving their child. Getting to know it beforehand, gathering information from other parents, and visiting the school environment even before classes start are also fundamental. Visiting the school together with your child may be even better, as you can get to know the space, check the safety of each area, and point out important places like the restroom, principal’s office, and playground areas that will be a lot of fun when they are used.
Adaptation should happen in partnership, with parents encouraging their children by showing the importance of going to school and how fun it can be, and teachers prepared to welcome students. The desire to connect with the child, affection, and even patience in dealing with crying and tantrums at first are essential to bring comfort to both parents and children.
Complaints like “I don’t want to go to school anymore” or “I don’t like the teacher or that friend” are normal and should not be taken into account, especially in the first days, since all sorts of attempts will occur to get you to give up taking them. Talking to the teachers can help you understand your child’s resistance and find out how they are and how they behave after their mother leaves. The thing to do is take a deep breath and face it—in a few days, this moment will pass, and school adaptation will be one more challenge overcome between you two, out of many more to come.
Child at School
School plays a fundamental role in a child’s life that goes beyond literacy and teaching history, math, geography, and so on. It is at school that a child learns to socialize, share, behave around others, and interact and live in a group. Children learn by playing, moving, climbing, descending, and scribbling. And through these activities, their motor skills will be improved more and more each day until they’re ready for the next step, which is learning to read and write.
School is where relationships are first built, the first friends are made, and the most fun games are learned. First differences and sadness also happen during this phase, but it all forms part of life’s learning and is a fundamental piece in building moral character. Learning to deal with both good and unpleasant situations is part of human growth, and how one acts and faces them is one of the lessons to be learned.
The role of the school is not to provide good upbringing for children—that’s the responsibility of parents and guardians. The school’s role is to develop children, teach, stimulate, and offer knowledge. For this space to be beneficial, it depends on parents to reinforce, participate in, and support everything that’s taught and provided at school. Parental involvement in school life, especially by working together with the school, is extremely important to build and deliver a quality education for all children, whether in a private, state, or municipal school.
Also see: Aggressive Child – How to Deal With This Situation?
Photo: Wandering Eyre, Aaron Fulkerson
