Who hasn’t known a woman who struggles with motherhood, who tries and dreams endlessly of becoming a mom but can’t succeed? Some of these women are so close to us that it’s impossible not to suffer with their struggle. It’s natural to think about being a surrogate for someone we love.
It’s a very complex situation and requires a lot of psychological balance from both parties to handle this reality. After all, the baby growing in your womb will not be yours, since it carries the genetic material of another couple and you are just “loaning” your uterus and your body so that the baby can come into the world. To carry out this procedure, the couple must undergo in vitro fertilization. This way, the mother’s eggs are combined with the father’s sperm, and only then is the resulting embryo implanted into the womb of the woman who will act as the surrogate, or temporary mother.
In the past, surrogacy was only allowed if there was a first- or second-degree family relationship. To meet the requirements, the surrogate had to be a mother, sister, or cousin of one of the couple. Now, however, the laws have changed and allow any woman, whether or not she’s related, to be a surrogate. The practice is permitted as long as no money or financial compensation is involved.
Also known in medicine as gestational carrier, surrogacy can offer a woman who cannot become pregnant for various reasons—including women without a uterus after undergoing a hysterectomy—the chance to fulfill her dream of becoming a mother and holding her long-awaited child. To start the whole process, both parties must agree. A consent form must be signed and notarized; this document must be presented for the baby’s registration after birth. Psychological counseling is also necessary to assess and prepare everyone involved for the situation. In fact, a psychologist’s report is mandatory to confirm that the parties are fit to proceed with the process.
The Altruistic Surrogate
The term ‘surrogacy’ can sound like a commercial activity with the intent of profit, which is why it is also called altruistic surrogacy. The realization of a woman’s dream—if she is unable to carry a pregnancy herself—can happen thanks to the solidarity of another woman who puts herself in her shoes and feels her vulnerability. The struggle and pain of not being able to fulfill such a private wish is often a key factor in making this decision.
Being a mother is about more than just conceiving and giving birth. It’s in everyday life that emotional bonds are created; it’s where you experience touches, smiles, and the unique feelings that blossom between mother and child. Through altruistic surrogacy, it’s possible for both the mother and father to have their genetic traits in a child who was carried by another woman. After all, it is their genes that will form that much-anticipated baby.
Women who have had a hysterectomy due to a medical condition, or those with heart diseases, are considered unfit for pregnancy. These are some of the women who can resort to this option and become mothers through an altruistic surrogate. Besides them, women with irreversible uterine deformities, or who have experienced recurrent miscarriages, can use this method to give birth to a biological child.
The process of altruistic surrogacy involving first- or second-degree relatives is generally easier, even from a psychological perspective. In these cases, the biological mother can closely follow the pregnancy’s progress. Mothers, sisters, aunts, and cousins often sympathize with the situation and carry the child with even more love. This is heightened when they can follow the child’s life after birth; in the end, the surrogate continues to be a part of the child’s life.
The law also supports altruistic surrogacy for same-sex couples. The situation only changes with regard to egg or sperm donation, which must come from a third person. In the case of eggs, the donation can be made by a fourth person, or by the woman who will carry the pregnancy. In this case, a great deal of trust is needed between the donors so that future problems do not arise since the child will carry the donor’s genetic inheritance.
See also: How Do I Know if I Can Get Pregnant? Let’s Investigate Fertility!
Photos: matt kornatz, TheGiantVermin
