If there is a challenging and complex task in the life of an adult, it’s raising children. Being a father, mother, and responsible for lives beyond our own is extremely delicate and very important. It is through the teachings we pass on that character and values are formed. Thousands of parents, believing they are giving their children the best education, end up slipping up by overdoing it and creating a spoiled child. At home, this may not be such a big issue, since it’s a situation created by the family itself, but what about when facing the outside world?

Every day we see situations where children rule inside their homes and over their parents. They have no limits, rules, and are free to do as they please when they should still be guided by their parents. They eat what they want, when they want, and even dictate the daily menu at home. They choose the family outings. Only the shows they pick are on TV. Only their favorite songs play on the radio and the whole family’s world revolves around the belly button of the little king.

When contradicted, there are tantrums, screaming, and lots of crying with a show for anyone to see. It doesn’t matter where they are, and this ends up embarrassing the parents in front of society, which does tend to judge and comment on the child’s poor education. This whole parenting style is known by psychologists as infantolatry. It is when parents spoil their children too much, turning them into little commanders or kings of the situation. This needs to change while there’s still time, so that future problems don’t arise and bring more suffering in adulthood. Children need to learn limits, live by rules, and understand the meaning of the word NO. They can’t always be the center of attention and get everything they want, and will they have to learn this by experiencing real life itself?

What Does It Mean to Be a Good Parent?

Being a good father or mother doesn’t mean giving your children everything they want, but rather teaching them the path they should follow. This includes showing limits and respect for others’ wishes and choices. Being a parent is to show reality with a generous dose of affection, comfort, and love.

Trying to offer everything in the right amount, because after all, too much of anything in excess is harmful, even love. Excessive care and overprotection can harm a child’s development because, in the end, they need to grow and learn to be independent. They need security to make their own choices and, when necessary, walk their own paths.

Good parental teaching is the foundation of what they’ll become as adults, even if it’s impossible to know how they’ll behave in the future. As parents, we always try to do our best, offering the best of ourselves. The formation of character relies on childhood, and from there, a person will carry those principles for life.

We usually compare the upbringing we give our children to what we received from our parents. Those who had a strict upbringing, a hard one, want to offer the opposite for their children and do everything exactly the opposite of what they once thought was wrong. For those who had too much freedom and no limits, they tend to provide a more disciplined life, with complete control over their children’s lives and, in many cases, also go too far with this.

Unfortunately, there is no instruction manual on how to raise children, but everyone is aware that excess is harmful for every human being—especially for children developing and forming their character. Many spoiled children, when they grow up, become rebellious teenagers and adults. They do not accept being contradicted by the world or going without what they’ve always had at home. Many end up turning to drugs and alcohol as an escape from the situation, and this can develop into very serious problems.

Children should, yes, be raised with heart, with total dedication and affection, but also with the help of reason and careful thought. Parents must teach them to win and lose, to listen to ‘no’, not always be the center of attention, and above all, to share, give, and respect others.

See also: Tantrums – How to Deal With Them?

Photos: Alba Soler, Juliana King