Pregnancy in itself is already full of emotions, feelings of highs and lows, mood swings, easy crying, etc. When it is not planned by a couple, time takes its course and the desire transforms, being accepted and generally eagerly awaited in most cases. But when pregnancy occurs in women who really never considered this possibility, at first it ends up being seen as a problem, as something that came to disrupt their plans, dreams of a career and studies—in short, it is unwanted… so what to do now with a positive result in hand?

The lack of family support and a partner ends up leading some women to choose abortion, which exists, and we all know is clandestine, unfortunately it is something very dangerous, precisely because it is illegal!! And it ends up being an immediate solution to the problem and usually causes pain, suffering, and regret after the act, especially because it is culturally treated as a taboo1!

There are also those who decide to hide the pregnancy as long as possible, often denying to themselves the existence of a little being developing in their belly; they do not receive prenatal care, do not talk about the issue, and do not accept the bodily changes that become more apparent month after month. The psycho-emotional damage in these cases can be great, as more and more studies point out that the baby perceives maternal emotions in the womb, and a baby rejected since pregnancy will carry these feelings without understanding why, and, in addition to the mother/baby bond, breastfeeding and attachment may also be hampered due to these feelings during pregnancy2.

I usually say that the best option is to accept and live this moment as an opportunity to recognize and reevaluate your relationships with your parents, your partner, and yourself, and from there develop and allow yourself to feel what this moment can offer the woman at her best and to tune in with the baby who is dependent in your womb.

I’m not saying it will be easy, but by controlling your anxiety and fears, you will make it! I recommend specialized prenatal care and therapy to better cope with this moment, as this whole pregnancy-puerperal period (which spans the entire pregnancy until the end of the puerperium, basically the baby’s first year) is a delicate phase for a woman’s psyche, requiring support, attention, care, and affection, so that your and your baby’s well-being prevails throughout the whole process, helping to form a healthy bond and fostering acceptance!!

By Ariela Malaquias

Clinical Psychologist for women trying to conceive, pregnant women, mothers/babies, couples, and families.

See also: Fears of a New Mother – Psychologist Ariela Malaquias

Photo: Martin Pilote, ROBERTO CARLOS PECIN