Empty Nest Syndrome – Do You Know What It Is?

All that hustle and bustle at home decreases over the years, as children grow up and set off on new paths, things can seem different, and that’s when it all begins. The mother starts to realize that her children are ready for the world—and they have to reap all the rewards that mother helped plant, leaving home to live their lives, whether it be getting married or not. Of course, each woman faces this moment differently. The children leaving home can be a sad time for the mother. But having the children move out can also be an opportunity to live as before motherhood, now with the advantage of all the experience gained from motherhood and the reward of having had the opportunity to care for and raise her children well for life.

But how can you face empty nest syndrome and bounce back?

Laying your feelings out on the table is a great tip—empty nest syndrome can bring deep sadness, and mothers may feel lost with so much free time and all the empty space in a house that was once lively. Over time, try to fill your time with things that interest you most—if you like to travel, this is a great phase. Some moms even go back to school after their children are grown adults. Also, making the most of life with your partner is another great tip—get back to dating like before. Keeping yourself occupied makes all the difference and can help the mother a lot when she feels sad about missing her children, so it’s very important to look for an activity you enjoy. Everything helps in this new beginning. Besides all this, a pet can help the house not feel so empty—of course, it doesn’t completely replace people, but it makes a big difference in not feeling so lonely. Additionally, any kind of therapy can be a great alternative, and don’t feel bad about it. There are excellent professionals in the field who can make all the difference in recovering from empty nest syndrome. At first, an empty house may seem scary, but over time, everything falls into place.

“The first was Deibis, who left home to get married. Besides being the first—and I think that’s always harder, just like being a first-time mom, you’ve never been through that before. He was very young, only 19 years old, and the feeling was horrible. Besides missing him at home, I thought his wife wouldn’t take care of him like I did, and wouldn’t cook the foods he liked, and, well, it was very hard. Many times I would go to his work just to make sure everything was okay—otherwise, I couldn’t sleep. Many years later, it was Edson’s turn, and that was another heartbreak. I thought they were abandoning me, and it was such a huge jealousy that I can’t even explain.

Someone you’ve carried for 9 months and watched grow up beside you, suddenly becomes an adult and moves away from you to live with someone else, and you don’t have the maturity to understand that… it was horrible, only time can help you come to terms, but even now I still have some setbacks. But in compensation I have Sandra, who never left my side, but I don’t know what the future holds—she’s still young and may choose new paths in life. But if that happens, that’s when things will get tough—I don’t even like to think about it so I don’t suffer.”

A mother’s love is unique and unconditional, and we suffer a lot with separation. What we can do to make this time easier and avoid empty nest syndrome is to imagine what life will be like in the future without our children. Talking to my mother, even now she misses my brother who lives far away—luckily, the grandchildren fill the emptiness that’s left, and with time she’s gotten used to it as well. It’s also important for the child to support their mother during this transition—it might seem like a small gesture, but it makes a world of difference.