If only getting pregnant happened just the way we want… Snap your fingers and boom! Here comes a baby. But that’s not the case—and for many! For some lucky ones, just being near a pair of boxers and pregnancy happens effortlessly.

Just skip one day of birth control, or get pregnant on the very first month of trying. But unfortunately, those are the exceptions. From what I’ve seen, many look for elaborate formulas for how to get pregnant easily, but sadly, these still haven’t been invented and there’s nothing that mankind has created that interferes with God’s will when it comes to children.

The truth is we search for ways to get pregnant easily out of impatience and our tendency for total control over what happens in our lives. Sometimes we forget that there is a higher power and a purpose for everything we experience in life.

Maybe, sometimes, it’s destiny that we spend some time trying, precisely to learn that there are situations we can’t control and that we need to work on our patience and on how to wait for the right time for things to happen.

I truly think that, in the world of those trying to conceive, there are so many frustrations exactly because of this exaggerated need for control that women insist on having over their lives and their bodies.

Then comes the tears, the suffering, the self-judgment, and the frustration that go hand in hand with the thought that you’re not woman enough to create the life you want so much. But that’s not really how it is, is it?

Now, after going through seven long years of trying, I realize that much of what caused me pain during this time was due to standards I set for myself. I was so hard on myself, so much that I was disappointed with every unsuccessful cycle and punished myself harshly with self-blame and discomfort.

I even blamed my husband for failed attempts and that ended up shaking the very foundation of our marriage. It took me a while but I learned that everything happens in God’s time.

Is There a Magic Formula?

But is there a way to get pregnant easily? Does it exist? For some, the wait can become so distressing that they might even resort to self-medication. Ovulation stimulants are available on the market for anyone to buy and take, since no prescription retention is required, but shouldn’t it be?

Stimulants are great, they help those who don’t have ovulatory cycles but it’s true that they don’t work miracles! Ovulation stimulants like Clomid, Indux, Serophene and others are effective, but they don’t guarantee pregnancy.

I say this based on many examples of women who took them for many cycles, even in high doses of 200mg, and still didn’t get a positive result. Another way to help is by using fertility-friendly lubricating gels, such as FamiGel.

Stimulants are a great help, but they should be used with care and with all the medical support you can get. Serial ultrasounds and guidance to check if they’re really working are important, since not every body responds to these medications and they may not provide the expected results.

In fact, it’s even irresponsible on our part to take stimulants without medical guidance, since misuse can lead to serious problems like ovarian hyperstimulation, which could even require ovarian removal in extreme cases.

So dear friend, don’t put 100% of your hopes in these medications. In addition to being very strong, they can harm the endometrium, which is necessary for pregnancy to happen, and may also cause other problems.

In reality, the magic formula for getting pregnant easily is to keep your exams up to date. Not just yours, but also your partner’s. Couples who have been trying for more than a year need to check their fertility through medical tests.

Some are more specific like hysterosalpingography for the woman and sperm analysis for the husband or partner, but all are necessary to determine if the couple has any issues that could prevent pregnancy. It’s not easy to consider the possibility, and even less so to hear that there’s something wrong.

In these cases, finding a good professional is the key to success when trying to conceive. If you’re under the care of a good professional, following the proper treatment whatever the problem may be, put your life in God’s hands—He knows what He’s doing and also when it’s the right time for pregnancy to happen.

I waited almost four years for my last pregnancy, but if I hadn’t gone through this, I certainly wouldn’t value as I do today the many women who want their babies. Know that nothing happens by chance and that the most magical formula of all is PRAYER.

See also: Trying to Conceive Anxiety – What to Do About It When You Want to Be a Mom?

Photo: Universal Pops (David), Lotus Carroll