I felt like a real alien when, among my friends who were also trying to conceive, I was the only one still waiting for my turn to get pregnant. I wondered how they had managed it? Why was I the only one who hadn’t been remembered by God yet? How difficult it was to get pregnant… Was there a secret I still hadn’t discovered? So many things ran through my mind, while sadness and anxiety overwhelmed me deeply.
The hardest part of trying to conceive is really the frustration of trying for so long without success. But one day, my positive result came! The joy I felt is indescribable and along with it came all the memories of the time when I was the only one still waiting for my miracle. That’s why I’m here today, to remind women who are still trying, that the things life brings are often lessons — try to learn as much as you can from everything you go through. So here are the lessons I learned:
How to get pregnant? Is there any secret that no one else has discovered? Can we control this event? How do you become less anxious and calmer? How do you have the patience to wait for such an important and longed-for moment in life? These are questions I used to ask myself and now, much calmer and after several years analyzing the life of someone trying to conceive, I’ve come to several conclusions:
Anxiety: this is the main villain and constant companion for those trying to conceive. Figuring out the secret to controlling it is for the few. But it’s impossible for an anxious woman to stop feeling anxiety while trying. It won’t just disappear, even if a doctor prescribes a powerful anxiolytic. It helps control it, but it doesn’t make it go away completely. Managing anxiety is a daily practice and not just when it comes to getting pregnant — understanding that things are not entirely under your control and that everything will happen in its own time is fundamental.
Remember women who waited for years and years to get pregnant, sometimes 1, 2, 5, 10, 12 years… But at some point, it happens, and there’s no use being anxious while waiting, because the emotional and physical toll is huge. Have you noticed that anxiety is highest after the fertile window? So try to direct your time and thoughts to other areas of your life, even if during this phase you need to isolate yourself from groups and virtual friends related to the topic of getting pregnant. Keeping calm is fundamental and will make a huge difference, you’ll see.
Fertile window: For some women, the fertile window is a mystery. But knowing when it is and how it happens is a fundamental secret in the recipe for getting pregnant. There’s no point in trying and trying if you’re trying at the wrong time. It’s important to have intercourse at exactly the right moment, on the days when you’re fertile. For this, the body gives signs, even if you’re one of the most irregular women (in terms of menstruation, of course). For those with regular cycles, the fertile window is easier to pinpoint, and will be approximately between the 10th and 17th day of your cycle for women whose cycles last 28 to 30 days. Count the 14th day of the cycle as the most fertile and try for three days before and after because the fertile period lasts 7 days. For irregular cycles, it’s important to pay attention to your body — it will indicate fertility through mucus, temperature, and even pain. The more fertile you are, the more elastic your vaginal mucus will be. I recommend a very useful post to help learn how to check fertility, called the Billings method.
What Is the Biggest Secret of All?
In fact, there’s not just one secret. There are little things we can notice that become small secrets to achieve the goal: getting pregnant. The first of all is to check if there’s a possibility that the couple has a problem. See, I said the couple! Many times the “problem” is with the man, whether because of a low sperm count, or another hormonal problem, etc. That’s why it’s fundamental for the couple to do pre-pregnancy tests — or if you’ve been trying for more than a year without success.
Another little secret is to make the most of the methods available to help make pregnancy happen more easily. Let’s say it’s giving nature a helping hand. Ovulation tests and also gels that help fertility, like FamiGel, for example. You can find both the tests and the gel on the Famivita website.
Faith is the greatest secret. Knowing that God will send your pregnancy at the right time is very comforting. Ask Him for signs! If you trust in His will, you’ll feel secure when the real signs appear. An unusual mucus, an intuition you don’t know where it comes from, feeling your body change… The important thing is to never lose faith or hope. Know that all this is VERY important for those wanting to get pregnant. Stay calm, follow your heart, and never lose hope!
Important Tip: Many women don’t know that they have hostile mucus, the kind that “kills” sperm even before they can enter the uterus. That’s why it’s recommended to use gels that help balance vaginal pH. That’s the function of Famigel.
See also: Getting Pregnant and Anxiety — Two Things Not to Mix
Photos: Tom Simpson, Alachua County
