When it comes to pacifiers, the debate is never unanimous. Some defend their benefits, while others fiercely condemn their use. But what is really difficult for some parents is how to wean their child off a pacifier.
An Interesting Fact
The sucking reflex1 appears in the baby as early as the eighteenth week of gestation. It is a survival reflex, since the baby needs to suck in order to feed. That is why pacifiers are so readily accepted by most babies.
Pacifiers Are Not Evil
I think it’s important to start off this article with a reminder – pacifiers are not evil! They are not dangerous. In fact, they may even reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). However, it is important to avoid offering them to the baby until the breastfeeding relationship is established2, if you are breastfeeding (or plan to). Pacifiers sometimes get a bad reputation, but in reality, they can be a useful tool in the effort to help babies sleep well. Pacifiers can help the baby to self-soothe without help from their parents, and can decrease night wakings (unless, of course, the baby constantly asks the mother to come and put the pacifier back in their mouth after it falls out). So, let’s remember that, just as other items can support a baby’s and child’s sleep, pacifiers are not a problem until they actually become a problem. If it fits perfectly into the baby’s or child’s life (and perfectly into mom’s routine), then don’t feel pressured about how to wean your child off the pacifier. But what if that’s not the case? What if the baby wakes up 10 times a night for the pacifier after it falls out? What if the mother is tired of buying pacifiers everywhere she goes, just so her child never has to be without one? If the child stops eating or talking because they have a pacifier in their mouth. If that’s the case, it might be time to give up the pacifier for good and learn how to wean your child off a pacifier.
The Ideal Age to Wean Your Child Off the Pacifier
This is a big question for parents whose little ones are attached to the “binky”. Unfortunately, there is no magic age. Some parents learn how to wean their child off a pacifier when their babies are around 5 or 6 months old; others let their children use a pacifier until they’re 3 or 4 years old. In fact, there is no right or wrong, black or white when it comes to pacifiers. It’s like creating a bedtime routine – babies and children learn to sleep in different ways, and at different ages. But let’s note a general truth when it comes to pacifier weaning: the earlier you do it, the easier it will be. The same is true for sleep routines and so many things associated with raising children.
Up to 1 Year Old
For this reason, pediatricians generally recommend weaning your child off the pacifier before their first birthday. The idea is that before 12 months, the baby hasn’t had the time (or cognitive ability) to form a deep attachment to the pacifier, so taking it away may not be so hard. The same does not apply if you try to wean a child around 18 months. By then, the child has likely formed a strong attachment to their pacifier. Trying to remove it then will likely be much more difficult than if you had done it earlier. It’s not impossible, of course, but it’s full of tears and anger from the child (and maybe from you, too). Furthermore, depending on how many years the child has used a pacifier, there is also a risk of dental problems3.
Tips for Weaning Off the Pacifier More Smoothly
There isn’t a “right way” to do this. There are some strategies that can be used to help create a plan for weaning off the pacifier. If you’re taking the pacifier away from a baby under 12 months, you probably won’t need to get too creative. You can simply throw it out and then prepare for a few tough, sleepless nights and some short, restless naps. If you’re weaning an older child, it’s necessary to be a bit creative. Of course, you might just get rid of the pacifiers when your child isn’t looking, taking an abrupt and sudden approach. Strategies to wean children off pacifiers:
Start a Countdown
Similar to a calendar, you can start a visual countdown to when the pacifier will go away. Your child will be able to easily see how much time they have left with the pacifier, helping them cope with separation.
Try a Gradual Transition
With a gradual transition, it is possible to decrease pacifier dependence step by step. Most parents who follow this process allow its use only at bedtime, when their child is sick, or feeling unwell. In a short time, they manage to quit pacifiers for good. Take Advantage of Opportunities
Identify signs that your child is ready to give up the pacifier and seize the moment. During a cold, it’s common for the child to reject the pacifier because they need to breathe through their mouth due to a stuffy nose. If that happens, keep the pacifiers out of sight and wait. When your child asks for the pacifier, don’t offer it right away. It’s possible they’ll naturally give up the habit.
Sew the Pacifier Into a Stuffed Animal
Take the pacifier to a teddy bear maker and have it sewn into a special stuffed animal. Or you can put it inside a toy your child already has at home. This way, your child can keep the pacifier nearby as they give up regular use. This can maintain the bond and comfort without your child continuing to use the pacifier.
Paci Fairy Visit
Just like the Tooth Fairy, the Pacifier Fairy comes, takes away the pacifiers, and leaves a gift or money in their place. This can be a good option for a child old enough to understand what the Tooth Fairy and Pacifier Fairy are.
Reward Chart
Create a reward or sticker chart to track your child’s progress. Every time they go without the pacifier, they get a sticker or reward to celebrate. If you plan to reward the child for not using the pacifier, choose games, outings, privileges, or simple little gifts—don’t substitute pacifiers with sweets.
Pacifier on a Balloon
Another way to say goodbye is to send the pacifier off on a balloon. Tie the pacifier to a helium balloon string and tell your child the pacifier is going away. You can say it’s off on extraordinary adventures in a new country or going to another baby who needs it.
Replacement Toy
Give your child a new toy to replace the pacifier. Make sure they understand they’re swapping the pacifier for the new toy, and that the pacifier won’t be coming back. Try to pick a toy that will hold their attention for a long time, instead of something they’ll forget quickly.
Throw a “Goodbye” Party
Celebrate by throwing a “goodbye” party for the pacifier. Use the child’s birthday to have the party. Emphasize the idea that they are turning another year older and getting “bigger”, and that older kids don’t use pacifiers—they love the idea of feeling more grown up.
Read Books
There are many books that can introduce the idea of giving up the pacifier. Of all the strategies mentioned above, starting with books is definitely the best option. Limiting or taking away the pacifier from your baby or child can really be as traumatic for you as it is for them. Therefore, it’s important to do this very calmly and patiently.
