Why the rush, ladies? Why do we want to get pregnant so fast, at the speed of light, in the blink of an eye? If only wanting meant being able… If we could just think about it one day and be pregnant the next, right? But our bodies don’t always follow our thoughts. I want to get pregnant, but what should I do if it doesn’t happen?

The fact is, when we see a friend pregnant even “by accident,” we find ourselves thinking about it and feeling a bit jealous, wishing to be in her place. What did she do to get her miracle, and I, who desperately want to get pregnant, still haven’t managed? Why do I have to wait so long, and she who never even said anything, never even wanted to be a mother, is now expecting a baby? Haste is the enemy of perfection! At least that’s what my mother says. Many times, because of our hurry, we forget about several details. Getting pregnant quickly requires some preparations and some care even before you start trying.

To get pregnant, is it enough to just stop taking birth control and have sex, right? Wrong!

I have to remind you that a woman who wants to get pregnant should take care before she stops using protection. I always stress this because it’s so important to constantly remember that a woman’s health must be okay. Hormonal tests, ultrasound, and if possible, even make sure your husband or partner’s tests are up to date too. You know that friend who got pregnant by accident? Her hormone levels might be balanced and you, who so desperately want a baby, are not! Her husband/boyfriend/partner too. That’s why the delay in getting pregnant should always be associated with health. Let’s say there are two valid theories, 50% health in order and 50% divine will.

Yes, my friend, God’s will is a decisive factor. There’s no point in rushing, wanting to get pregnant quickly, at the speed of light, if it isn’t the right time. That’s how it was for me! I kept thinking, why can’t I do it? I spent more than 3 years trying for my last pregnancy, and another 3 years for the second one. In fact, it was 7 years in total waiting for a pregnancy that just didn’t happen. Then, one beautiful day, it happened! Do you know when? Do you know how? When I wasn’t even thinking about it anymore, and this happened with my last two pregnancies. I was always frustrated with life, and even with kids, I didn’t understand why I had to wait so long.

What Does a Frustrated TTC Woman Feel?

I think the worst part is really the frustration. It hurts, poisons, and in a way, it haunts us. On my list of the inconveniences of a TTC (Trying To Conceive) woman’s life are:

Gold medal for frustration: Don’t even start with that “new cycle, new chance” speech because it doesn’t work anymore! You feel defeated and crushed. Really. I did everything right this cycle, my God, why didn’t it work? Not this time either, where did I go wrong? How many times did I catch myself thinking like that. When the test is negative or menstruation arrives, it feels like a huge hole opens beneath our feet. The feeling of failure can be so huge that giving up, throwing in the towel, crosses our minds. Some women really do give up for a while or just don’t want to hear about trying again until, like magic and without tracking fertile days or monitoring cervical mucus, it happens! Is this the irony of fate? Just a coincidence?

Silver medal for anxiety: What woman trying to conceive never caught herself thinking of taking a test even before her period was late? This annoying anxiety can eat away even the patience of someone waiting for a positive. That’s why it’s so much better to stay calm. Easier said than done, right? Let’s see you put it into practice! Stay calm, daughter! Can’t do it? Then do like I did, set aside money and time to take tests starting at 9 dpo, or pay a therapist to help reduce anxiety. If you don’t have either option, I’m sorry to say all you can do is wait and bite your nails until the fateful missed period day. Life as someone trying to conceive is not easy, my dear! That’s a tip for newbies and the clueless on call.

Bronze medal for waiting: For most women trying to conceive, waiting might even be ranked number one, but for me, it wasn’t so bad. Waiting actually adds a certain charm to the TTC life. What you can’t do is go crazy and try to speed up the cycle just because you can’t wait. Not even God made the world in one day… Calm down! Wait for the fertile window, have sex, and wait for your period to be late. Don’t rush to test or run to get a beta HCG just because a small bleed might be implantation.

Got a positive? Great! Now do a blood test to confirm it and wait for the right time for the first ultrasound. A baby under 5 weeks may not show up on the ultrasound and then the worry kicks in, for real. If you’ve been trying for over 2 years with no success and all your tests are fine, it’s recommended to see a good doctor to guide you on what to do. Sometimes more specific procedures are needed, and a good professional makes all the difference.

In the end, it’s always the same advice. Be patient—your time will come. Keeping all your tests up to date has become my catchphrase, but they really are necessary to show your body is ready to get pregnant. Calm down, focus, keep your spirits up, and have lots of faith! Not a single leaf falls from the tree if God doesn’t will it.

Good luck!

See also: Confession of a TTC Life – The Pain of Waiting

Photo: nadzent