Whenever I say I have 3 children, people are almost always shocked. I’ve been called all sorts of things… Courageous, crazy, adventurous, clueless, and many other things (some nice, others not so much, because people really love to meddle in other people’s lives). But there are things behind being a mother of three that nobody talks about! When I still had 2 kids, many people put a lot of pressure on me:
That’s it, right? Factory’s closed? Did you have surgery? Did your husband have a vasectomy?
Then I got pregnant a third time, chose to tell only family and closest friends and, when my belly from the third started to show, the comments began—and this time, way more aggressive. Other people’s indignation took over the situation, but you know what? I didn’t care. All my children were planned—even though the last pregnancy was kind of a surprise, it wasn’t an accident, my mother’s heart had two loves, but it wasn’t enough—I wanted one more love for a lifetime. I was happy and completely at peace with my decision to have a big family in today’s world. What I didn’t know were the challenges that would come even during pregnancy.
Physical Part
Even though I was very happy about another little miracle on the way, the third pregnancy was different. I felt more discomfort, the pains were more intense (muscular, sciatic, previous c-section scars stretching), stabbing pains down below. It was almost impossible to walk during those pelvic muscle spasm crises but the hardest part was holding my pee in—seriously!
It was a mad dash to the bathroom, and changing underwear became constant during pregnancy. Although I wanted to use panty liners, on doctor’s advice, I couldn’t, so I can honestly say my bladder just let loose! It seemed like a woman’s perineum in her third pregnancy is like a leaky old faucet, it just won’t stop dripping ever again1.
After birth, my body changed completely. This time, at 30, recovery was a bit more delicate and took longer. Even though everything went well during the delivery, my body wasn’t 20 anymore. It took me about 10 days longer to get back on my feet compared to my first postpartum. Breastfeeding wasn’t that complicated, but it still felt like a new challenge, just like feeding my firstborn for the first time. It’s like getting to know a new person, you know? My belly shrank slowly, more gradually, but on the plus side, the bleeding stopped much sooner than expected.
The postpartum right after the c-section was more complicated, I had more side effects than the previous times2. The dizziness was overwhelming, but it went away on its own after a few hours. The real struggle was trying to keep up with the kids as they grew. Now there are three, my friend! It takes some serious stamina to keep up with everyone and each one wanting specific attention according to their age. I admit, the exhaustion is chronic, I’m yawning constantly all day, and at night? A real pilgrimage to get everyone to bed at the right time.
On another note, chasing after a one-year-old is tough for anyone, but for a mother of three, it’s a major challenge! That’s why I never turn down help, no way! Mother-in-law, sister-in-law, sister, friends… Everyone joined in! But over time it got easier, and the love kept growing, just like a mother’s heart!
The Emotions of a Mother of Three
Now fulfilled, happy, and with my dream of a big family realized, it was time to focus on the emotional side. How do you handle bringing another child home and all the feelings that come with such a big change? Even though it sounds simple, it’s not. The older kids can feel that the new little one steals all the attention from everybody around, and it really can and will have a big impact on family dynamics. So, this stage requires prepping the older siblings during the pregnancy itself. Talking a lot with the older ones, telling them what their role will be with the new baby, and most importantly, following through with these plans from day one is essential.
As always, the mom will go through baby blues, sadness caused by hormonal shifts3, but it’s totally normal to think you won’t be able to handle all the work that three kids brings. As people say, a mother of three is truly brave because it’s not easy dealing with so many intense emotions—ha! But the love you get in return is far greater than any of the little day-to-day problems.
What Does It Mean to Be a Mother of Three?
Being a mother three times over is having your heart beat outside your chest three times. It’s crying and laughing three times more, and receiving love, love, and more love. It’s having joy for a lifetime, a house always full. It’s three times more laundry, three times more trips to the market and, of course, spending triple on school, food, clothes, and shoes. But it’s all worth it—nothing compares to having a living room filled with laughter on rainy days. Fights happen, but you take them in stride. Let the naysayers talk; being a mother of three is for the strong, only those who lack the strength of a rock and the ability to receive love like no one else would shy away from this mission.
See also: How to Be a Good Mom? Here Comes the Margarine Commercial!
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