Sex is good, wonderful, and moves many people’s lives! Of course, pregnancy is achieved this way, and a couple in a passionate relationship needs to have an active and compatible intimate life. But what about when a woman’s current period requires her to refrain from sexual activity? How does the husband influence this need for abstinence when it’s necessary to take a break from sexual life for her full health recovery? That’s right, during the postpartum period, a husband’s or partner’s influence is significant — did you know that?
Postpartum is a very delicate moment; during pregnancy, women undergo many bodily changes1. The uterus, for example, goes through a radical 1,000% change. It increases 45 times its original size and sheltered a baby for nine months. Where the placenta was attached to the uterine wall to feed and nourish the baby, there is a wound that needs to heal — that’s why this postpartum period exists. This is the minimum time a woman’s body needs to rest to return to almost what it was before pregnancy2. This is where breaking abstinence and having sex during the postpartum period can bring many issues for the woman.
Even if you’re feeling fine, sex during this period should be avoided. There have been reports of sexual intercourse as soon as the mother went home from the hospital. Even though it was a normal delivery without an episiotomy or any vaginal tears, the recovery period must be respected, not only by the woman but above all by the partner who often pushes for it in various postpartum cases. Imagine if something unpredictable happens during sex, like uterine bleeding, for example?
In some cases, sex is avoided during pregnancy as a precaution for complicated pregnancies, and the desire might come from either partner. But the partner’s decision to agree to sex during the postpartum period weighs heavily in the woman’s decision3. If the desire is stronger than the importance of sexual rest, then there are other ways for the couple to fulfill their desires besides penetration in any bodily orifice below the waist. Using creativity is essential, but always proceed with caution to avoid causing injury or harm to your partner.
What Are the Consequences of Sex During the Postpartum Period?
Of course, not everyone is in a rush and wants the playground open before time, but the pressure for sex can end up hastening things. A husband who insists on full sexual intercourse before the 20-day recovery period can cause consequences he isn’t even aware of. The main one is infection. In cases of cesareans, there are even more risks for the woman, since there are internal stitches. Imagine — there are seven layers of skin and tissue that must be stitched and healed. Isn’t that a short time given the complexity? Having the stitches reopen is a frequent reality when at least a few days of rest aren’t observed.
Another rarely considered consequence is the possibility of pregnancy during the postpartum period. Think about it, if you have a 20-day-old baby, would you want to get pregnant that quickly? Although unlikely so soon after childbirth, it is possible for a woman who is still recovering to have a fertile window. That’s why I support waiting, but if you are thinking of breaking abstinence, be sure to take proper precautions. Condoms, other forms of protection, and birth control are essential! The withdrawal method is not the best way to prevent pregnancy, nor does it relieve the worry that can plague a woman after intercourse. The guilt comes afterwards once the desire is over, and it may become a worry as long as menstruation hasn’t returned. Sometimes menstruation can take months to return, especially for breastfeeding mothers, who may menstruate much less or not at all.
When a woman needs to recover, pressure from her husband to have sex during this period does nothing to help her healing. “Marital obligations” can become reasons for fights and disagreements, which is why lots of communication during this period can help to calm things down. It’s also advisable for any insistent husbands to talk to the obstetrician about the importance of the postpartum recovery period, even if that means the woman speaks to the doctor beforehand and asks them to explain directly to her husband during a prenatal appointment. If he’s the type of macho man who refuses to admit he’s wrong or won’t accompany her to appointments, then discreetly ask someone influential to bring up the subject in his presence.
As I said, there are plenty of ways for a couple to have sexual satisfaction without penetration. Be creative, experiment, and invent if the desire is too strong, but avoid causing physical problems or the worries of a possible new pregnancy. All care is important.
See also: Sex and Pregnancy – No Taboos, No Fears
