A new term used for single mothers, solo mother has become very common in conversations and especially on social media, even as a hashtag after the heartfelt posts of warrior mothers who take on the tough task of raising a child alone. Being a mother is already synonymous with love and dedication, but being a solo, single mother goes far beyond all the dedication a human being can give another; dedicating yourself 100% is not a task for just anyone.
Raising, educating, providing for needs, being present, and dedicating yourself – these are just some of the responsibilities when raising a child. These are not easy tasks for a couple, let alone for a woman alone! In some more isolated cases, being a solo mother is a choice, but for the vast majority it is a situation demanded after paternal abandonment or the end of a relationship where the man simply disappears from the child’s daily life, at most fulfilling his child support obligation – if that.
We know that in 90% of cases, the child support paid does not fully cover all the child’s needs. This means the mother also has to work hard to ensure she can support her child in a dignified way. She comes home at night, tired, her mind worried about bills and responsibilities, and still needs to be 100% present and attentive to her child: helping with homework, cooking, bathing, cleaning, doing laundry, and everything else that needs to be done. And even with all these tasks she still has to be a supermom; it’s her duty!
You might be missing an uncle, grandpa, grandma, cousin, or even a father, but a MOTHER CAN NEVER BE ABSENT!! A mother does everything she possibly can to make her child happy, even when exhausted, sick, burning with fever, she sets aside her pain and gets up to care for her child with all her love. It’s not easy or always delightful like a margarine commercial, but a mother’s love conquers all, especially if she is a solo mother. Taking double responsibility as both mother and father sharpens her claws even more, ensuring her child’s wellbeing and fiercely protecting them like a lioness from all harm.
Biggest Challenges of a Solo Mother
There are countless difficulties a solo mother faces throughout the entire journey of raising and educating her child. But some issues stand out and end up being unanimous among those who face this adventure alone. The first challenge is meeting all the child’s needs, both financial and emotional. Everyone knows how expensive it is to live, to eat, how costly education is, dressing, and even leisure.
This is the first complaint from solo mothers: the difficulty in providing all of this and still safeguarding the child’s health and education. Supporting a child and being present 100% of the time is a tough, complex job that demands a lot from women and, in many cases, becomes extremely stressful. Women are people, flesh and blood, they get tired, they get sick, they need a moment for themselves and, even if just for a few minutes, sometimes need to disconnect from the world. But how do you do that as a solo mother?
Not all are lucky enough to have a mother or relative to lend a hand when needed. The vast majority face their task alone, fiercely, enduring all physical exhaustion and emotional strain with a single focus: raising their child with all their love. The second big challenge is dividing up everyday tasks for the child, since doing everything by yourself and caring for every little detail is incredibly exhausting. Having the father around to bathe, change a diaper, or even take turns getting up at night makes all the difference. And when they get sick, it’s even harder! A sick child needs even more care, especially when you have to rush to the emergency room in the middle of the night, doing it alone really isn’t easy!
The third complaint is loneliness! After the child is asleep, having no one to talk to, to share fears and joys, feeling alone as a woman. Some people can’t understand this, since you have a child, so you’re not alone, right? But the emptiness in these cases is different, it’s a lack of support and a longing to feel safe, someone to share challenges with and work together to find solutions.
The fourth complaint is about prejudice, and it really does exist, doesn’t it? Since the dawn of time, single mothers have been looked down upon by society, as if it were entirely their fault that they are raising a child alone. The constant questions about why she isn’t with the child’s father and wanting to know what happened are so frequent that many solo mothers lose their patience. So, spare a single mother your questions, your doubts, and your “opinions” – the only one who knows what happened and what she’s living through is the one walking in her own shoes.
See Also: How Do I Know Who My Child’s Father Is?
Photos: Aljafet Chable, Deni Williams
