Not long ago, an inversion of values happened when someone accidentally swapped price tags… Honestly, I think we are living in a time when everything seems upside down. Children from the 40s, 50s, or even the 80s know well how strict adults used to be with minors. I remember very well that when I was a child, a single look from my parents or teachers was enough for me to sense I was doing something wrong. Values back in the 80s were dictated by our family, teaching us to respect our elders in every sense. These people taught us right from wrong with rigor, yet still lovingly, without distorting the facts—children were children. Back then, parents were respected without question; when a NO was said, it always prevailed even if we disagreed—children respected this ultimate authority, mother and father.

Time has passed, and with it came the era of parents working full-time, even on weekends. The inversion of values ended up gaining ground in modern families, increasingly allowing little dictators to emerge. What used to be isolated cases of permissiveness has given way to an epidemic of children dictating their wills, ruling their homes. A generation of little people who have gained almost total control over household authority, taking the place of parents, and now at school want to override the authority of teachers who teach out of love. We see in helpful programs like Super Nanny and similar ones the difficulty some parents have regaining control of their home and their children’s upbringing.

But what caused such an inversion of values? What is the reason for this behavioral turnaround in just two decades? In my opinion, it’s the guilt parents feel for being absent from home and outsourcing their children’s upbringing to caregivers and sometimes full-time schools. Along with guilt comes the unconscious act of permitting, to compensate for their absence. Nowadays with cable TV, parents allow children to stay up as late as they want, watch whatever they choose on television, and even decide what the family should eat for dinner. Another theory for the inversion of values is the intervention of inappropriate laws concerning how each parent should raise their child. Of course, there are effective and necessary laws like the child and adolescent protection code—these must ensure each child’s rights.

In the past, the teacher was the ultimate authority at school, but today, due to various laws and prohibitions, it has become unacceptable to call a student’s attention, as parents, eager for justice, attack the professionals who help and teach their children. These parents, burdened by excessive working hours, place the blame for bad grades on teachers, absolving themselves of the responsibility to oversee homework and learning at home. The inversion of values has reached such a point that much of society now believes it’s right for a minor to commit crimes and go unpunished simply because they are considered a child, free of responsibility for their actions.

So what can we do about this inversion of values in a society where everything has become allowed? How does it affect the behavior of parents blinded by need or convenience to simply delegate their children’s education to others? I have noticed more and more people are realizing this generation—completely supported in their desires—is actually harmful to themselves. Parents of this new generation, education is something learned at home, not at school. Values should be passed from parents to children, and making time in your busy daily life is not a waste; it’s an investment in education and planting good seeds in those who will take care of future generations.

To educate is not to beat, it is to teach what is right and what is harmful. Drugs, bad influences, and sex should be discussed when parents decide the time is right. Talking, having a dialogue is always the best option, and certainly imposing limits on little ones. A child who hears ‘no’ can also be happy; they just learn sooner and more naturally that not everything we want is a priority in life. We must help and allow them to become aware citizens, understanding any future limitations.

Saying NO is also an act of love!

By: Patricia Amorim

The Inversion of Values in Modern Times – Second Point of View

We’ve heard from our parents and grandparents about how they were treated by their parents; respect was evident, a single look was enough to know if they were doing something wrong or needed to behave better. Today we see children giving orders to their parents, making decisions that should only belong to a mother or father, and that’s where all the problems begin. Wings are being given to those who should still be learning to fly, and no one can hold them back anymore.

In the past, respect for elders was automatic, it happened naturally; calling an older person ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ was taught from birth, but today we see more and more disrespect towards the elderly. In the old days experience was valued, elders were the bearers of wisdom, they were the ones consulted to solve all issues. Today, they are considered leftovers, and the vast majority are discarded as though they had no value—not even sentimental value. Now the young are the cleverest, always right, or we might even go as far as to say they think they own the world, growing up with no limits and believing anything is possible.

But is this the fault of the current generation? In my view, no, the great culprit is parents who do not teach their children values, believing in a different kind of upbringing and not realizing that they are raising disrespectful people, who will treat them the same way in the future. People without limits, who think they own the world— and to make things worse, we have strong government support, which instead of helping and providing good education, puts limits on the education we should give our children, imposing boundaries and rules on how we bring them up.

I am not in favor of spanking or violence, but since when does a slap on the wrist hurt anyone? How many of us were corrected by our mothers when we misbehaved, and today we are deeply grateful for the good upbringing we received? Differentiating aggression from correction is necessary, and since children learned they cannot be corrected by their parents, that parents have limits, they’ve become increasingly without limits, since they can call the police, right? Seek their rights?

In my time, my parents set my rights and my rules, and these were obeyed with much respect. Today, children possess all the rights given by the laws that defend them, they do whatever they want, and who’s going to stop them? Unfortunately, many parents give up on providing their children with a good upbringing or simply prefer to shift the responsibility to others. We see parents blaming their children’s poor behavior on the teachers, on the schools’ poor teaching, forgetting the old phrase, “education starts at home.” Schools serve to teach literacy, provide historical lessons, and expand a child’s knowledge—not to teach values and manners.

Schools have become depositories for children of absent parents, parents who are uninterested in what happens to their children and what they will become in the future. It is sad to see a child growing up without rules, without limits, and thinking they can do whatever they want—after all, what do they really know about life? We, as parents, must advise, teach values, set limits, and raise our children not just for ourselves but for the world. Because they won’t always hear ‘yes’ in life, and they will have to learn to deal with those situations—it’s better to learn with love than with the world, through pain. Let’s raise our children to be conscious adults, equipped with a good upbringing; that’s how we’ll make the world a better place for everyone.

Being a parent is not simply about bringing a child into this world and letting them learn and discover the world on their own; we have a duty to stand by them, teaching and guiding them where to go. Since you made the decision to have children, be prepared for this important mission, and stop shirking and pushing your responsibilities onto those who have no obligation whatsoever to your children. Develop good habits, educate, make time for your children, especially for good conversation and to teach them how to act and walk through life. Learn to be a true father and mother, teaching and providing good values; that way you will have by your side, and leave to the world, people who truly add value and make a difference.

By: Rosane Gonzalez

See also: Profession? Stay-at-home mom, Yes Sir!

Photo: Spirit-Fire, Sara Ashley, Herald Post