Around 2013/2014, we started thinking about trying for another baby. To have our first daughter, we had already gone through about 11 months of treatment before getting pregnant. But for the second, the wait was much longer. Since Ana was born, we never used an effective contraceptive method. So, we once again sought help, but this time, not even the conventional induction treatments worked. We did everything permitted before being referred to the fertility clinic, and there we started the most effective treatment. Many exams, I went through a cycle of timed intercourse, material analysis, etc. (I don’t remember all the details anymore), and they concluded that my eggs no longer had quality and the chances had already become unlikely.
As I was already mentally exhausted, we decided to give up, but Mother Nature doesn’t let anything go. That very same month, after the clinic, I started to feel pain, messaged my OB-GYN, and he told me to get a quantitative test that, to our surprise, came back 6. All women trying to conceive know the stress when it’s not zero; two days later it was 18, and so it went.
I know no one likes to hear it, but it really seems like when you let go, things just work out
The pregnancy was super calm, really calm, and we found out it was our second little girl at just over 6 days. I had a lot of nausea, I tried everything people taught me to ease it, but when I reached 13 weeks it disappeared. I didn’t have heartburn, it wasn’t a pregnancy full of pain or anything — as they say, one is never like the other. I was very afraid of being pregnant again, because of the complications with the first one. And time went by with no sign of delivery. I did every exercise recommended for natural birth, pilates ball, spicy food (laughs), nothing worked. In the last few weeks, I had a cardiotocograph every day, an ultrasound every three days because I could barely feel her move anymore. Until in the last ultrasound she was transverse and I asked for a cesarean.
My husband was with me, and it was an indescribable feeling! Waiting to hear that first cry, they placed my little girl next to me and he stayed with her during the bath and the cleaning. I asked for some procedures not to be done, and everything was respected. As soon as I arrived in the room she was already there waiting for me, ready to nurse, she spent the whole time with me, I had help from the speech therapist to make sure she latched correctly, and ever since then my little clingy one has been nursing. It was perfect, everything in its own time, everything respected and as a family. I didn’t tell anyone I was going to have the baby, it was just me + my belly and my husband at the hospital, the hospital required a third person so I called my mother. It was exactly what I needed: quiet, with us as the main figures, not an event. We introduced the little sister to the older one at the hospital, and the joy of becoming a big sister is just impossible to describe.
Being a mother of two, even though I myself didn’t believe it, is easier than having just one. Even with a five-year age gap, you can see the bond between them, how the younger one looks at the older one waiting for a game, a poke. Even though the exhaustion is greater, the sleepless nights, having a sibling has been the most important part of Ana’s life so far. In the beginning, of course there’s a phase of jealousy, of fear, but when it’s just the four of us, that fades away. It seems the oldest has become more independent with some basic tasks and wants to be the big sister in every way she can. Ten years ago, I couldn’t see myself being a mother — actually, a mother to two girls — but today I can say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I adjusted my professional life to the new routine and managed to combine motherhood with everything else. I am the mom-driver, cleaner, entrepreneur, but I would never trade this for the old me!
Story by Amanda Martins, mom of Ana Luisa and Sofia
See also: Childbirth Story Sabrina and Wanderleia – Two Births, Two Stories
Photos: TF Personal Collection
